Unspoken
by freedomnova
Summary: A long time ago Michael and Alex fell in love, but life pulled them apart. Michael has spent his life being the type of guy his younger self never wanted to be. When Alex came back into his life he begins to question everything. When life brings forth an unexpected surprise Michael is forced to truly question who he is and who he wants to be. (Awful summary I'll work on a new one)
1. Chapter 1

**AN- After attempting to watch the Charmed reboot I had no hope for the Roswell reboot. But boy did Roswell New Mexico prove me wrong! As much as I love the original, I'm loving the reboot as well. And of course, I love Michael and Alex.**

* * *

A loud bang sounded outside the cabin and in a sudden flash of panic he was awake sitting up in bed feeling as if he couldn't breathe. His body was wet with his sweat even though the room wasn't warm. He woke up like this many times through the night often having a hard time getting enough sleep. He brought his hand to his head trying to chase the images flashing through his mind. He hated that he couldn't escape them, what happened while he fought in the war. He felt his body shaking in a way he couldn't control he kept trying to breath in and out slowly until the panic left him. But the more he tried to push the images out of his mind the more they kept flying at him as if they were the only memories he had. At times he felt like he would never be able to think of or remember any part of his life that didn't involve pain, didn't involve death, didn't involve that war. Instead of the images leaving his mind more seemed to come and instead of finding his breath he felt it getting harder and his shaking got worse. He saw explosions he saw people lying dead around him. There was no escaping it, no escaping he could never escape. And then instead of bodies he saw a smile and instead of explosions he heard a laugh. His breathing began to slow as the image formed in his mind. Michael.

Michael's image in his mind was like coming up for a breath of fresh air after nearly drowning under water. He was brought back to when he was seventeen again sitting in the old shed behind his house watching Michael play the guitar. Then he saw the two of them seventeen years old standing inside the museum feeling his lips on his. Back then Michael had made him feel safe and even now just holding on to the memories of who they used to be chased away the nightmare of who he had become and made him feel safe once more.

Alex felt his body becoming normal the panic left his system, it had been so long since he had let the memories play within his mind again. He had convinced himself what he felt for Michael had just been a seventeen-year-old teenager's fling, happy another guy was even looking at him. For ten years whenever the thought of Michael came to his mind he would push them away he would pretend that it really wasn't anything and that Michael had moved on by now and that he should too. No one held on to their teenage love for ten years without talking to each other. He convinced himself he had never loved Michael and that Michael wasn't capable of love. They were kids that were all.

Yet when he had seen Michael again at the trailer on the farm one look from the other man and he had instantly felt seventeen again. Alex had expected Michael to leave Roswell a long time ago and hadn't thought he would see him again. When Michael had stormed up to him and touched him full of anger Alex saw it all melt away when their eyes met. He had pretended that Michael was just a guy who was being evicted. He saw the anger flash again when Michael glanced over at his father and growled, _'finally a real Manes man.'_ The more he thought of how Michael looked perhaps it wasn't anger, maybe just maybe it had been hurt.

The images of battle began to swim to his mind once more and he shook his head wishing he could think of something else, anything else and for once his mind listened. He was brought back to the reunion when he confronted Michael asking if he was cooking meth. He could see Michael's cocky smirk on his face showing a part of his intelligent mind and he could feel his feeling for the other man come rushing back.

_He remembered stepping forward and taking hold of his arm and whispering in Michael's ear,_

"_You're wasting your life Guerin"_

"_You trying to hold my hand private?"_

"_Does the macho cowboy swagger thing ever get old for you?"_

"_Did it get old for you?" Michael said in his ear and then he pushed past Alex leaving him feeling numb._

Once the image left his mind he again felt the nightmares of the war creeping back in. So he pulled another memory of Michael from his mind.

_He was looking at an old photo from high school that was displayed on the wall as he adjusted his metal leg. He saw his younger self and couldn't help but feel that the guy in the photo was dead, he would never be that kid again. _

"_Nostalgia's a bitch huh?" Came the only voice that could make everything within him turn electric. He turned to see Michael standing in the doorway looking at him. For a moment both men just looked at each other and finally, he spoke,_

"_I thought for sure when I got back from Iraq you'd be long gone." He kept his eyes on Michael's perhaps it was the few drinks he had, but he felt like he couldn't fight whatever it was that made him drawn to Michael._

"_Is that what you want?" Michael asked as he slowly walked over his hands in his pockets. The way he was looking at him he felt like they were in the museum again and Michael had just asked to speak in private. He knew what was coming next and he tried to convince himself he didn't want this, he didn't want Michael._

"_We aren't kids anymore." He felt the words leave his mouth, but his body said otherwise as Michael stepping closer Alex felt himself moving forward as if he had no control over his body it was as if it needed Michael so he could feel something other than pain and fear. "what I want." He felt himself saying, "Doesn't matter." _

_Michael had been looking down, but then his eyes flashed up onto his own and for just a moment they looked at each other and then Michael put his hand behind Alex's neck and moved forward pulling Alex to him. Their lips touched and Alex couldn't deny what he wanted not anymore not after ten years of telling himself he didn't want Michael Guerin. Because in that moment feeling Michael touch him again kiss him again every part of his mind that had tried to convince him what he felt for the other man was just a teenage fling was all proven wrong. Michael could set him on fire with just a touch. He wanted him he needed him and even when the kiss ended, and they rested their foreheads on each other, and Michael's hand slowly moved down to stroke his cheek Alex didn't pull away. He allowed himself to feel the love he had for Michael begin to fill him just as it had ten years ago. _

Alex opened his eyes and all the warmth of Michael against him left him once more, but at least he wasn't filled with the panic that his nightmares left him in. He let himself fall back down on his pillow as he looked at the ceiling. He rolled over and closed his eyes trying to fall asleep again, but as his eye lips closed images of what he had seen and what he had done in the war came to him once more. He couldn't help the tears that began to fall from his eyes, he felt shattered so shattered that nothing would ever make him who he used to be. At times he wondered if that teenager who went to war to seem worthy in his father's eyes was even someone he wanted to be. He ran away from Roswell to join the air force all to make the man who had abused him happy, he ran away from Michael as if he was ashamed of the boy who stood up for him time and time again. He thought about what could have happened if he had stayed, what could have happened if he had just left his father behind and said who cares what the bastard thought? Would Michael still be living in a trailer committing petty crimes? Or could they be happy together? His eyes began to drift shut and this time his mind played images of the 'what if?' He imagined Michael laying down in bed next to him and wrapping his arms around him, making him feel safe and whole as he drifted off to a peaceful sleep, dreaming of a happy life a life they shared together. He heard the soft echo of Michael's voice, _'I never look away, not really.'_

* * *

Michael found himself just watching the fire as it burned. It was late, but he couldn't sleep so he drank another beer, eventually, he would drink enough that he would pass out.

'_You're wasting your life Guerin.'_ Alex's words echoed in his mind. He had almost hated Alex's at that moment. What right did Alex Manes have to tell him that? Alex had been the one that left, that ran away and went to war for the approval of a man who would never accept him. Michael wanted to hate Alex for those words, but he couldn't those words had hurt him because the only person he had ever wanted to make proud was Alex, the only person he had never wanted to let down. He had thought maybe just maybe he could have happiness, that he could have Alex after he had come to the trailer and they spent the night together, but the next morning Alex had been ashamed of him. He tried to brush off Alex's word as if it meant nothing, but it felt like Alex had stabbed him in the heart. He thought of the drive in and how during the day he had let himself think that perhaps Alex wasn't ashamed to be with him, that they could go to the drive-in and enjoy their time together, but then at the last moment Alex pulled away again and Michael was left shattered.

When he was seventeen and Alex had given him a place to stay and a guitar to play, he had been surprised by the kindness he was shown Alex hadn't expected anything in return. For a short time in his life he felt like he had someone who wasn't going to walk away, but in the end, Alex walked away more than anyone else.

The night of the drive-in he had seen Alex's father stop him and speak to him, he saw for a moment Alex stood up to his dad and Michael thought just maybe this time would be different, maybe Alex would finally move past wanting the man's approval, but in the end that night Alex had found a reason to leave just like he always did. Everyone left him in the end, even Max and Izzy in a way they both had moved on with their lives leaving him stuck. He hated Roswell he had always wanted to leave he once had the chance, but that night changed everything. The three had vowed to stay together but being together was just a reminder of that night and so even when it was the three of them nothing was like it had been before.

After what happened he knew he had to push Alex away. He couldn't be close to any human he couldn't care for any of them. He cared far more for Alex then he ever had for anyone else before and that scared him in more ways than one especially when he was seventeen. He knew back then he had to push Alex away he had even wanted Alex to leave him, but a part of him had hoped Alex would see through his act and stay. Stay by his side forever, but perhaps that was too much hope to put on a scared seventeen-year-old boy. Even if he didn't voice his hope and even though he knew it was foolish he couldn't help the pain the day Alex left town, left him.

Over the past ten years, he told himself they had just been teenagers, that he wasn't really in love with Alex Manes, that what they had was a fluke. He hadn't found himself attracted to another guy. Alex was the only guy he had ever been with and had thought about, he only found himself sleeping with women from the bar to fill the part of him that he often needed to fill. He told himself over time the pain of Alex leaving would become less, that he would move on. He kept telling himself that all the women he had been with would push Alex from his mind and for a time it did.

For the last few years when he thought of Alex, he didn't feel the small stabbing in his chest anymore. He had really thought he put the other guy behind him, he was happy with the one-night stands and the flings. He was happy not letting anyone close enough to crush him again, he was happy when he wanted the girl to walk away because that was what people always did. People always left. People would always leave so you just had to use them for the small amounts of joy.

He was happy or at least he had told himself he was happy over and over again until he convinced himself. For a time that worked he could smile and fool everyone around him, everyone knew him as the cocky guy who could get a girl to go home with him just about every night from the bar. He told himself he liked his life, Max and Izzy even thought he enjoyed the way he was living his life.

Then he saw him. He saw those eyes looking at him and instantly he was seventeen again and the past ten years fell away. Every one of his one-night stands felt empty and all he wanted was Alex again. Any delusion he was happy fell away. He hadn't realized how empty his life actually was until his eyes met Alex and he knew he didn't want to be alone. He didn't want just any girl warming his bed at night and gone by morning. He wanted Alex and he wanted Alex wrapped in his arms all night long. He wanted to wake up to Alex every morning, but at that moment he would have settled for just a smile from Alex, but Michael knew that wouldn't happen not with daddy dearest nearby, perhaps not ever again.

Alex acted cold and Michael thought perhaps he had played up everything they had once been in his mind or perhaps Michael the boy who fought feeling anything for anyone had fallen too hard for just one person. A person who hadn't felt the same way about him. That was until the reunion when Alex tried to be cold, but a crack had shown on his face, the way he stepped forward and told him that he was wasting his life. There was just a flicker at that moment and Michael could still sense the electricity between them, but he tried to ignore it. He walked away from Alex and wrapped his arms around a girl and tried to convince himself he wanted to just get that girl home. Later when he was about to go home with her he walked past a doorway and saw Alex looking at an old photo of himself and Michael had known the pain that flashed across Alex's face. He couldn't stop himself and he had gone to him as if he was a magnet and Alex was the metal and nothing could stop them coming together. In the room just the two of them they fell back to who they had once been. When he kissed Alex, his whole world snapped back into focus. He knew at that moment he was in love with and would forever be in love with Alex Manes.

It was as if he had no control when it came to Alex. He told himself not to feel anything again because in the end he could never fully let Alex in and Alex would always walk away. He threw his beer bottle into the fire and sighed he knew he should go to bed, but instead he grabbed another beer and opened it he wouldn't be able to sleep anyways his only hope now was to pass out.

He kept telling himself over and over again that he didn't want anyone to be close to him, that he couldn't have anyone close to him. He wanted Alex to walk away, but no matter how much his mind told him those words his heart was shattered. Alex made a part in him awaken that he had hidden so deeply he often forgot about. Every time Alex looked at him, every time he smiled and every time he laughed Michael was brought back to life then he shattered over and over again every time Alex looked away from him, pulled away. He wanted to be better for Alex, he wanted to be just a regular guy that got a regular life and got to be with the person he loved, but Michael could never have that.

* * *

"Comfortable?" Isabelle's voice sounded as she kicked Michael's shoe causing him to groan

"What time is it?" he asked his voice hoarse he had no idea what time he had finally passed out. He reached his hand behind his neck and tried to rub out the kink he felt. He had fallen asleep in the chair near the fire.

"Ten in the morning." She told him sighing as she saw how many empty beer bottles.

"Don't you want more for your life than this?" she asked looking around them.

Michael smirked, "I'm happy with what I have." _Lie_. He felt like that was all he ever did, lie about what he really wanted. It wasn't just outwards to everyone around him he also lied to himself.

"Well." She told him, "there is more to life than this."

"What? Like finding that special someone, getting married buying a house and living happily ever after?" He leaned back in his chair and smirked when he saw he had one more beer left. Grabbing it he used the edge of the chair to open it took a quick swig.

"Come on Michael." She folded her arms.

"What do you want me to say?" he looked up at her.

"Don't you have work or something?"

"Gotta fix that truck." He said pointing his beer bottle at one of the broken-down trucks in the yard." He sighed, "Then hitting the bar, wanna join?"

She collapsed down in the chair next to him and hugged the hoodie she was wearing around her.

"Is that mine?" he asked which only earned him a glare. He smirked and just continued to drink his beer for a moment before he spoke again, "I'm guessing you and Noah aren't any closer to kissing and making up." He pretended he didn't notice the tears that came to her eyes.

"He wants answers." She told him, "Ones I can't give."

"That's the beauty of how I live my life." He smirked, "No one to hide from I get what I need from the one-night stands. Talking and sharing isn't really that important."

"That's an empty life." She looked over at him, "I don't know how you live that way without feeling anything for anyone. Without having someone to make you feel-" she sighed then smiled softly, "Like you're the only person that matters."

Michael thought of Alex and felt the pull deep within him that came every time he thought of the other man. He wanted Alex he wanted Alex all day every day in his life, but that couldn't happen. He couldn't allow himself to truly voice those feelings and quickly pushed Alex from his mind. "It's pointless, all of that is just some fantasy you and Max come up with." He shook his head, "Love is something you only believe because mommy and daddy told you fairytale stories about it growing up, it isn't real." _Lie_. Again, his voice spoke different words then what his heart really wanted to say. "All this heartache you feel is because you let it in. you wrap yourself up in these human emotions. With these humans. We don't belong here not really not with them."

Isabelle just looked at him, "You just say that because you haven't fallen in love yet."

He looked at her for a moment he could still see the heartbreak on her face from Noah leaving her here with him. "Because I know it isn't real." He told her as again he lifted the beer bottle to his lips.

* * *

Alex sat with Maria and Liz hardly listening to what they were saying, instead his eyes were on Michael at the pool table his hands all over some girl. She was sitting on the table and he stood between her legs as he kissed her. Alex couldn't help the jealousy that flared within him, he wanted to be the person Michael was kissing he wanted to be the one he was touching.

"That guy really needs to learn to get a room." Maria's voice broke through his thoughts. "Every night in here rubbing up on some new girl. It's going to come back and haunt him one day."

"Huh?" Alex said looking back to her.

"Guerin." She said, "Over there. I honestly don't know how anyone falls for his words."

"Yeah." Alex looked at his beer. "But they always do, don't they?"

"Sometimes multiple times." Maria said, "Some girls fall for it over and over."

"He must be really good in bed." Liz said, "Only way he could get someone over and over with the way he treats them."

Alex stopped listening to their conversation when Michael broke away from the girl and looked over at him and their eyes locked. Alex felt like he was seventeen again and Michael was just the boy who came from the wrong side of the track but had a great future ahead of him. He remembered listening to Michael talk about becoming an engineer. Dreaming of a future outside Roswell. He remembered listening to Michael talk about how he was going to prove statistics wrong. He wasn't going to end up like his foster father. Michael wanted to be something, do something great with his life. But here he was, just another guy living in a trailer, getting into bar fights, hardly able to hold onto a job and it broke Alex's heart. He wondered what exactly caused Michael to give up on all his dreams, give up on having a future.

"Alex, earth to Alex." He turned away from Michael and back to the girls, "Huh?"

"Are you alright?" Maria asked.

"Just tired." He told her sneaking a glance at Michael who now was putting his arm around the girl's waist and whispering in her ear. She laughed and turned to leave Michael smirked and as he turned with her, he looked over his shoulder and met Alex's eyes again and Alex felt like someone stabbed him in the heart.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Liz asked, "It's just you seem."

Alex sighed perhaps it was the few beers, but he let a word slip out, "Lost?" Michael left with the girl and so Alex looked down at the beer he moved it in circles before he brought it to his lips.

"Yes." Liz told him, "And like something is bothering you, you know you can talk to us."

"It's nothing." He told her, "Just a lot on my mind." He frowned when he noticed a girl show up in the doorway of the bar. She seemed to scan the crowd. Seeing a girl in a bar wasn't what drew his attention, but she held a baby in her arms. His look caused both Maria and Liz to look where he was.

"What is a woman doing with a baby here?" Liz asked.

Just as quickly as the woman came in, she turned and left.

"Weird," Maria said

* * *

Max sat at his desk at the station hating that he had to pull a late shift at his desk. He was working his way through paperwork that he often put off which was the reason the sheriff had told him he had to stay until it was all done. Luckily, he was finishing up the last of it when the front door opened, he looked up to see a woman walk in holding a baby.

"You are friends with Michael Guerin?" she asked.

"Yes," Max said

"Then here." She shoved the baby into his arms. "I can't."

"What?" Max took the baby as she let go of it.

"This is his. I don't want it. Strange things happen." She shook her head, "Everyone thinks I'm crazy, I didn't want it in the first place."

"What?" Max said again. The girl wasn't making any sense.

"I never wanted a baby and by the time I was sober enough to realize I was pregnant it was too late to get rid of it." She told him, "I tried. I tried to care for it, but I can't. Something is off about it." Then she turned and hurried away leaving Max alone with the baby that he held in his outstretched arms. The baby cooed at him and gave a smiled. "What just happened?" he asked.

* * *

**AN- I should be writing a chapter for a current story but I love Alex and Michael and got an idea. Hopefully, you guys enjoy. **


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- I'm waiting for the vet for my horse and got a review while I was waiting and with every review I always get inspired to keep writing so here is another chapter.**

* * *

Alex had left the girls after a little while. They were laughing and cheery, but the more Alex drank the more he felt like he was ruining their good time. He walked out of the bar walking slowly with his crutch when his eyes found Michael's truck Alex had thought Michael had left with the girl. What his eyes saw next made his heart drop, Michael was sitting next to the truck leaning on the front tire his head leaning slightly back. Without thinking Alex rushed as fast as he could over to see the driver side window cracked with what looked like some blood on it and the mirror hanging.

"Michael," Alex muttered as he knelt down. He could see blood coming out of a large cut above his right eye, it was already starting to bruise. Michael groaned as he opened his eyes and looked at Alex in confusion.

"What happened?" Alex asked.

"Apparently." Michael said slowly, "She had a husband." His speech was slightly slurred Alex couldn't tell if it was from drinking or getting hit in the head. "He surprised me from behind."

Alex wanted to tell him this was what happened when you took a new girl home every night, but he knew his words would only sound like a jealous ex. So instead he leaned forward and softly touched the side of Michael's face,

"You might need stitches." He told him. "Let me take you to the hospital to get it looked at."

"No," Michael said quickly.

Alex frowned he had forgotten Michael's fear of hospitals. He had always told Alex it was because he didn't have money or insurance, but Alex often wondered if there was more to it than that. Even when Michael's hand had been crushed, he had refused to go and because of that his hand had never healed correctly. "then let me get you to your trailer." Alex sighed.

"No." Michael groaned, "Iz is there."

"Isabelle why?" Then Alex shook his head, "Well maybe she can get you cleaned up then."

"I'll never hear the end of it," Michael grunted as he tried to stand but slumped back down when he got dizzy.

Alex knew he couldn't leave Michael bleeding and halfway to pass out here so he glanced over at his car, "Wait here." Alex walked slowly over to his car as he tossed around any ideas of where to bring Michael, to Max maybe? Those two used to be best friends, but honestly, he hadn't seen them hang out much since he had been back and when he did see them together they didn't seem like they were very good friends anymore. He only had one place he could bring him. Back to his cabin. He drove the car closer to Michael and got out.

"Let's go, Guerin," Alex said as he helped the other man stand. Michael wobbled slightly, but once again Alex couldn't figure out if it was from the hit to the head or alcohol. Michael muttered something under his breath as he was helped into the car, but the words didn't make any sense.

As Alex drove the two sat in silence long enough for Alex to glance over and see that Michael was leaning the back of his head against the window watching him.

"What?" Alex asked.

"Why are you helping me?" Michael asked, "You don't have to."

Alex thought back to when they were younger when Michael only thought people did nice things because they wanted something.

"People can be nice to each other without needing a reason," Alex told him as he turned and looked back out on the road before them.

"Not in my experience," Michael muttered.

When Alex heard those words, it was almost as if Michael had punched him. He glanced back over at Michael who had closed his eyes now. He thought back to a time when he had wanted to prove Michael wrong, that the world could be a good place that people could be good and that they could care about him. In the end, Alex knew he had let Michael down in the way he left and now. Alex knew he always ended up leaving Michael and walked away, but sometimes Michael just made it to easy.

"You shouldn't fall asleep," Alex said trying to ignore Michael's comment.

"Huh?" Michael asked.

"You could have a concussion."

"Mm fine," Michael said, but didn't fully form is words. "Don't worry you're pretty head." He kept slurring his words especially the R's.

"I don't think you are," Alex told him, with that Michael's eyes opened and for a moment he seemed perfectly fine.

"Don't worry 'bout me." Michael snapped.

"I'll always worry about you, Michael." He responded slowly.

Michael slowly shook his head but didn't say anything before he closed his eyes again.

"I mean it, Michael, no sleeping not until we get home."

Again, Michael's eyes opened, "home?"

"My home," Alex told him.

"You're taking me home?" Michael smirked with his eyes closed.

"No" he paused, "I mean yes, but no. You said you didn't want to go to your home."

"Home." Michael grunted almost laughed, "I've never had one of those."

Alex glanced over at him and again wished he had been able to give Michael a home. As a teenager, he had wanted to be home for Michael. Like Maria had said home didn't have to be a place it could be a person. It broke his heart to know even now after ten years Michael didn't have a place to call home or a person. Michael seemed more alone now then he had in high school. Yes, he had his airstream, but a home wasn't actually a place more the people in it. He thought maybe Michael did consider Roswell home, after all, he hadn't left Roswell even after ten years. Alex had thought perhaps there was something or someone that kept him here. He knew Michael would never tell him. A snore from Michael drew him from his thoughts.

"Guerin," Alex said loudly for a moment he didn't think he woke Michael but then he heard the other man groan. Michael didn't open his eyes, but Alex didn't mind because he was pulling up to the cabin. Alex stopped the car and just looked at Michael for a moment. What if this was what his life could have been? Coming home with Michael every night just the two of them. Just the thought was enough to bring a smile to Alex's face.

After watching Michael Alex remembered that Michael shouldn't be sleeping, not yet anyway so he got out of the jeep and went around to the passenger side and opened the door. Michael grumbled something as he fell back slightly, but Alex caught him. "Come on," Alex said as Michael groaned as he stepped out of the jeep leaning heavily on Alex. It was hard for him to help Michael and still walk using his crutch, but he successfully got him into the cabin. He got Michael into the bathroom, helped him take off his shirt that had gotten some blood on it and sat him down and carefully cleaned off the large cut above his eyes.

"So, what exactly happened?" he asked just trying to keep Michael talking.

"Snuck up behind." Michael said, "shoved me into the truck window." Their eyes met for a moment as Alex washed away the last of the blood. He paused as he felt the butterflies that always came when he was close with Michael before either guy said something to upset the other. Finally, Alex looked away and got the anti-biotic to make sure no infection set in when he touched Michael the other man winced which caused Alex to pull back slightly.

"Sorry." He said softly.

"I'm fine," Michael replied as Alex went back to putting the anti-biotic on. The two men just sat in silence until Alex cleared his throat,

"Let's get you go bed." His words caused Michael to smirk.

"Not like that." Alex said quickly, "You should sleep."

Michael stood up, still a little wobbly so he stumbled into Alex who caught him. Again, they just looked at each other and it was Alex who looked away first.

"Come on Guerin." He said leading Michael from the bathroom and into the bedroom. He led him to the bed and Michael collapsed down on it,

"Join me." Michael grinned.

Alex shook his head, he needed to be strong Michael wasn't in his right mind. Alex also knew this wouldn't work out. They didn't work, they weren't good for each other they proved that time after time.

"Come on." Michael let his head fall back on the pillow his eyes showing he wasn't far from passing out.

"Rest," Alex told him and for a moment he thought Michael listened, but perhaps he should have known better. Before he could do anything about it Michael had sat up with a mischievous smile and he took hold of Alex's hand and pulled him down on the bed.

"Michael," Alex said as he was caught off guard and fell forward. Michael let out a little grunt as Alex fell on top of him.

"I miss you." Michael said as Alex rolled off of him and moved to get up, but Michael stopped him, "Please." And for a moment his voice sounded lost as his eyes searched Alex.

"I'm not going to be your second choice." He told Michael.

"Never." Michael told him, "Everyone else is second to you."

Alex knew he shouldn't allow himself to be with Michael the other guy was like a drug he couldn't kick. Any moment he spent with him just seemed to feed his addiction. "We can't." He went to stand up, but something flashed across Michael's face as the other guy let his head fall back on the pillow, "Always leaving." Michael said as he closed his eyes and turned over in the bed away from Alex.

Alex felt like Michael had hit him. He knew it was his own fault in all their time together Michael had never walked away, he had always been there Alex always walked away, always left. It was as if his body didn't listen to his head anymore, it just moved on its own. Before he knew what, he was doing he found himself laying back on the bed and moving to Michael and wrapping his arms around the other man. It felt so natural to hold Michael, he missed having Michael laying in his arms and wished life wasn't so complicated.

* * *

Max knocked on Michael's door it was late but he didn't know what else to do. He had no idea who the girl was that gave him the baby, but she had said it was Michael's. If she was telling the truth it made Max wonder if the baby had powers as well if it was even Michael's. He knocked again when there was no answer.

"Michael open up!" Max yelled and as he did the baby started to cry. The door swung open, but it wasn't Michael looking at him it was Isabelle.

"What do-" she froze when she saw the baby. "What's that?"

"A baby." Max told her, "Where's Michael?"

"I know what a baby is," Isabelle told him. "He isn't home. Why do you want-" she stopped and looked at the baby, "Oh no."

"Yes." Max told her, "At least that's what the girl said when she dropped it off with me."

"We don't know if it's really his." Isabelle told him, "You know the type he sleeps with, if they sleep with him you know he isn't the only-" she stopped when the baby cried harder and when it got louder the windows on the airstream burst causing her to jump and for Max to turn away covering the baby.

When the glass settled he looked back at Isabelle, "I think that's proof."

"Uh hu." She said through a breath looking at the shattered glass than at the baby who had stopped for a moment when the glass shattered but was starting to whimper again.

"I think it's hungry." He handed the baby to Isabelle and turned to his car.

"What?" she wasn't sure what to do with the baby. "Where are you going?"

"To get uh baby supplies then I'll find Michael."

"You are not leaving me alone with it!"

"I won't be gone long." He quickly got into his car before she could argue anymore.

"Max!" she yelled, but when she did the baby started crying again.

* * *

Michael slowly opened his eyes as he glanced around the room he was in and groaned as he reached for his head. He wasn't sure what was causing his head to pound if it was the hangover or the fact, he had his head smashed into his truck. He had a few too many if he had let someone sneak up on him. When he took his hand away from his head for a moment, he was surprised that the cut was clean. Until he remembered why. Alex. He looked at the area on the bed next to him as a few hazy memories came to him. Alex finding him, Alex bringing him here to his home. And then the two lying in bed together, Alex holding him. But Alex wasn't in the bed next to him, he wasn't sure how long he had been asleep but could see the sun had already begun to rise. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and glanced around to see if his shirt was anywhere near, but he didn't find it. He brought his hand to his head again when he felt light-headed, he closed his eyes and knew he had to get his hands on some acetone. He brought his head up when he heard mumbling in the other room. Alex, the words Michael could hear didn't make sense he kept hearing the word 'no' repeated a few times over and over. He sounded scared and hearing the fear in Alex's voice made Michael stand and walk perhaps a little unsteady to the other room. Alex was sleeping on the couch Michael tried to ignore the hurt he felt that Alex would rather fall sleep on the couch then with him. He was tossing slightly and twitching as he repeated 'no' over and over still. He seemed to be trying to get away from something and it broke Michael's heart to see the pain on Alex's sleeping face. He walked over and tried to wake Alex, but when he touched him Alex's eyes flew open, but it wasn't any look Michael had ever seen on the other man's face before. Next thing he knew Alex pulled him down and the two rolled off the couch Alex's hands around Michael's throat as Alex straddled him.

"Al-" Michael coughed as he couldn't breathe, he brought his hands to pull at Alex's hands. His eyes found Alex's, but the man he knew didn't seem to be looking back at him. He could use his powers, but between being hungover and not having any acetone on hand he didn't think he could control them in a way to not hurt Alex. He also knew no matter what he would never use his powers on Alex. He pulled at Alex's hands and just when he thought he would pass out he saw the look in Alex's eyes change and the hold around his neck began to soften.

"Guerin?" Alex looked confused as he then quickly let go of Michael's neck and let himself fall off Michael he slump against the couch where he buried his head in his hands. "I'm sorry."

Michael sat up and rubbed his neck for a moment before he moved closer to Alex.

"It's alright."

"No." Alex looked up and Michael couldn't help but think about how shattered the other man looked. "It's not." He sounded out of breath.

Michael wasn't in control of his body it moved on its own like it often did when Alex was around, always drawn to him. He wrapped his arms around Alex and just held him while the other man shook in his arms and slowly little by little the shaking stopped, and Alex began to breath normal again.

* * *

It was almost noon when Michael was pulling back up to his trailer. He had stayed with Alex long enough for Alex to calm down and once again throw the wall up between them. Brushing off what happened as just a nightmare then offering to drive him back to his truck. The two hardly spoke on the drive back to town and then when they got to his truck Michael got out and Alex drove off without a word.

All he wanted to do now was get inside the trailer and drink some acetone to make himself feel better. He put his truck into park the first thing he noticed was the shattered glass of all the windows of the trailer. He wanted to be angry at whatever Isabelle had done, but right now he just needed acetone, so he went inside and grabbed the bottle that was sitting on the counter, even though it was only half full he chugged it and started to feel better. He let himself collapse in a chair and let out a deep breath. He frowned when he noticed a baby's bottle on his counter. He heard a car door close outside which drew his attention away from the bottle. Michael grabbed a beer from the fridge and went outside to see Isabelle and Max getting out of his jeep. Max made eye contact with him and already Michael could see the disapproval on his face. He wasn't even sure what he had done this time to earn that look. Isabelle closed the door to reveal a baby. Michael couldn't help but frown,

"Where'd you find that?" he asked.

"It was given to me at the police station," Max told him his voice angry.

"She." Isabelle said as she bounced the baby to make it giggle, "Not it, She."

"And why is _she _here?" Michael asked as he brought the beer to his lips.

"Her father is here," Max told him.

Michael looked around then at Max, "Where?" and then it hit him. The way Max was glaring at him. "No." he shook his head.

"Yes." Isabelle said, "And she has his same temper. Just look at what she did." She glanced at the shattered glass.

"That's- that's- No." Michael almost always was careful when it came to his one-night stands, and he didn't even know his kind could procreate with a human.

"Apparently yes." Isabelle moved forward and pressed the baby into Michael's arms and as she transferred the baby to him, she took the beer. "I've been up all night, it's your turn."

"I don't know anything about babies!" Michael said.

"Well, we can't just place her up for adoption." Max growled, "You have to take her. She has powers, your powers." He shook his head "I have to go to work." Max went to his jeep and seemed to take a moment messing around in the back seat before he pulled out a car seat. "Isabelle bought this for her. We got some formula it's in the trailer."

"Max."

"You got yourself into this," Max told him then sighed when he saw the look on Michael's face. "I'll be by after work, Let Iz sleep for a bit then she can help you." Then he got in his jeep leaving a very confused and hung-over Michael behind.

* * *

Michael wasn't even sure how much to feed a baby or really how to do it. While trying to read the container of powder labeled formula, he accidentally spilled most of it and was only able to make one bottle. He tried waking Isabelle, but she just told him to leave her alone. She was too tired after having to take care of the baby all night. Isabelle told him it was his turn to take care of the little girl. She also said the baby cried on and off most of the night, but Michael hadn't heard it cry, not yet anyway.

He wasn't sure how he seemed to know what the baby wanted. He knew he had to go get more formula, and something told him he needed to get baby food as well. So, he found himself struggling a little too long to get the car seat into his truck properly then putting the baby into the car seat and driving to the store.

Now he was in the store in the baby section where he never thought he would be staring at formula and food and not knowing where to start. There were so many different kinds how was he supposed to know what ones to buy.

"Guerin?" Maria's voice sounded surprised behind him, "What are you doing?"

He turned around to see her not only sounding surprised but looking surprised when she noticed the baby in his arms. "Uh, trying to find food."

"Where did you get a baby?" she wasn't sure she really wanted to know the answer.

"Max found it."

"And he trusted you with it?" she frowned

"No, I mean, yes." He sighed, "He thinks it's mine."

"You have a baby." She said slowly.

"So it appears." He turned back to the food wanting to roll his eyes at the look she was giving him.

"What's its name?" she asked stepping closer.

Michael sighed, "I don't know."

"You didn't ask its name?" she asked

"What do you want Maria?" He was getting annoyed now he didn't want to explain anything to Maria who he could tell was already judging him. He reached for a can of baby food only for a bunch of a different kind to move from the shelf and fall to the floor. "Shit." He muttered

Maria smirked and bent down to help him pick up the food. "Babies can be overwhelming I had to help a cousin of mine a while back with hers."

"We don't know if it's really mine." Michael found himself saying a little to quickly, even though deep down he knew. The baby had shown powers in front of Max and Isabelle when it got upset and he guessed just now when the food flew off the shelf the baby was involved. And he almost seemed to know what the baby wanted the way Max could sense things about Isabelle through their connection. He somehow knew he was connected to this child and it scared him.

Maria just looked at the two for a moment and noticed their eyes. The baby had Michael's eyes. "I guess those one night stands finally caught up on you."

Michael glared at her. "Do you need something?"

"No." Maria smirked, "But I think she does."

Michael was confused for a moment until a smell hit him and he glanced down at the baby. "Uh oh," he didn't know how to change a diaper.

"You have no idea what you are doing," Maria said, "Do you?"

He wanted to get defensive again but thought better of it. "I have no idea."

Maria reached her hands forward towards the baby, "May I?"

Michael wasn't sure why the wave of protection washed over him, but he quickly pushed it down. Maria was harmless she wouldn't hurt the baby, so he handed the child to the girl.

"So, you have any diapers?" she asked.

"No." he responded only causing Maria to sigh. "Come on." She stood up and walked over to the aisle with the diapers in it. "She looks about eight months." She looked through the diapers before she decided on a box, "This should be the correct size."

"There are sizes?" he asked

Maria smiled at him, "I think you need to do some studying. Come on." She walked around the rest of the baby aisle choosing the different things needed to change and feed the baby. Then he followed her to the cash register and paid for the supplies. He led her over to his truck where she opened up the tailgate she looked around for a moment and let her eyes rest on him,

"Put your jacket down so I can lay the baby on it."

Michael didn't argue and did as he was told quickly taking his jacket off and putting it down. The baby smiled as Maria laid it down,

"Aren't you adorable." She said in a happy childlike voice. "You have your daddy's smile don't you." Then her voice changed back to normal, "Hand me a diaper." Michael did as he was told and handed one to her. "Now I'm going to show you how to change her." And that was what she did, she talked him through how to clean the baby and how to put a new diaper on.

"I don't think I can do that," Michael muttered.

"You can." She looked over at him, "You were supposed to be an engineer, it won't be very hard to learn to do this."

He shook his head, "No. This." He looked at the baby, "I'm not ready to be a father."

Maria looked at him for a moment and could almost see a normal guy. She didn't see the cocky guy that drank too much and didn't care about what anyone thought about him. She actually saw something that looked a lot like fear on his face. "You can do this." She felt herself telling him. She picked the baby up and handed it back to Michael, "Trust yourself." Normally she wouldn't think he could, but there seemed to be something that told her, he could do this and that he would. Perhaps it was those physic abilities she worked on in the bar.

* * *

Alex had agreed to meet Liz and Maria again tonight. He enjoyed hanging out with them, but sometimes he found himself having to force himself. He knew he would enjoy his time out, but he also knew Michael would be at the bar. He had to keep himself away from the other man. He couldn't trust himself when he was with Michael. It was as if his body was always drawn to Michael like a magnet. Even when his head told him over and over things could never work out all his logical thinking would go away. He would see Michael or hear some words Michael spoke and he would fall back into his arms. There was the way Michael looked at him that drew him in as if he wasn't flawed. Michael made him want to be the best version of himself, but he felt like that part of him would forever be lost. Going off to war wasn't something Alex had really wanted to do and everything he saw over there had really messed him up.

"Hey," Liz said as she sat down.

"Hey," Alex said snapping out of his thoughts.

"How was your day?" she pulled her jacket off and tossed it onto the empty chair.

"Just a normal day in Roswell." Alex smirked, "I forgot how this town was."

Liz smirked, "I don't know it's been pretty eventful lately."

"True." Alex agreed, "At least for you, getting locked in a crate and shot at I almost forgot."

"I like to keep everyone on the edge of their seat." She laughed then looked around, "Where's Maria?"

"She was just going to stop by and visit her mom before she came to work." He told her. Then glanced around surprised Michael wasn't here yet. Every night he saw Michael's truck parked out front before the sun even went down. He honestly didn't remember a moment he saw Michael without some kind of alcohol since he had gotten back.

"Who are you looking for?" Liz smirked, "Has someone caught your eye?"

"What?" Alex shook his head quickly, "No guys are here are my type."

"There has to be someone." Liz still smiled, "Remember that guy in high school?"

"He's long gone now." Alex thought of the guy Michael used to be. The guy that got a full ride to college, the guy that kissed him in the museum. The guy that risked the temper of Alex's father to protect him. The guy Alex left behind.

"Who was he?" Liz asked, "You never did tell us."

"Just someone passing through." Alex could never tell her he had been with Michael, no one could know about them.

Liz wasn't sure if that was really the truth, but she could tell whoever it was he didn't want to talk about it. She knew it was hard being different in this town she understood how even though he came out as gay it wasn't something he flaunted in town. You couldn't with a father as he had.

"Guys!" Maria came rushing over almost and appearing behind the bar and poured shots for the three of them, "You will never guess what I saw today!"

"What?" Liz asked surprised at her sudden appearance.

"Do you notice someone is missing tonight?" Maria asked.

Liz looked around, "No?"

"Guerin," Alex said perhaps a little too quickly. Causing Liz to look at him with her scientific questioning look.

"Good observation airmen." Maria grinned, "And do you know why?"

"Probably jail," Liz said as her mind thought perhaps it was something Alien related. Did Maria see anything? Did Michael somehow expose himself and Maria had been around to notice? Her heart rate picked up, there was no way Maria would be this calm if she had seen something like that. Right?

"I doubt jail." Maria told her, "We was shopping for diapers."

"Diapers?" Alex asked.

"For what?" Liz was just as confused as Alex.

"A baby!" Maria told them, "Apparently one of his one-night stands left it with Max at the police station."

"A baby?" Alex couldn't believe it, Michael hadn't mentioned anything about a baby, and they had spent most of the night together. Sure, Michael had been drunk and concussed, but he could have said something. But Alex knew talking about himself and letting others in his world wasn't something Michael was good at. He always kept a part of himself locked away and even Alex hadn't been allowed in.

"Max didn't tell me." Liz shook her head, "No way." She knew a lot had happened between her and Max especially once she found out what Isabelle had done, but surely, he would want her help figuring out if the baby was really Michael's if the baby was like them at all?

"He looked like a lost puppy, had no idea how to change a diaper." Both Alex and Liz looked up at Maria to realize they missed most of her explanation of what happened.

"He must be out of his element completely." Alex thought of Michael and if he knew him even a little bit he knew that Michael had to be scared, taking care of a child was something even Alex couldn't imagine. But as that thought came to his mind he thought of the other night. The other night when images of Michael calmed him down. When he had let images of the 'what if' life to fill his mind. In those dreams they had been together they had a home they had a life. His mind thought back to that imagined life and he could see it now. Michael holding a baby, a baby that the two of them would raise together. He didn't even notice the smile that came to his face.

"I don't think he can do it." Maria said, "Not on his own anyway, hopefully, Max and Isabelle help him if he plans on keeping it."

"I'm sure they will," Alex told her knowing there was always something about the way the three of them seemed to stick together. They weren't the same as they had been in high school especially Max and Michael as if something happened between them. They had once seemed so close, but now it was like they didn't even like being near each other. He thought perhaps it had to do with the fact Max was a cop and Michael was a criminal, but it felt like more.

* * *

"What do we do?" Isabelle asked as she paced through Max's living room. "A baby Michael really?"

"How was I supposed to know that would happen?"

"Did you pay attention in biology class?" she asked, "I thought you were supposed to be the genius here.

"We don't have a biology class on us." He muttered, "How was I supposed to know we could with humans?"

"You still should have been careful." Max said from the couch, "Now we have to figure this out."

"He has to keep her." Isabelle said, "That baby could expose us all."

Michael watched the little girl sleep when he had first found out about her he wanted to part in keeping her. He didn't even attempt to keep plants alive, who would ever trust him with a baby. He looked up at Max, "What did she say when she dropped the baby off?"

"Just that she tried and weird things happened around the baby." He tried to remember.

"Lyra," Michael said softly.

"What?" Max asked.

"The baby, her name is Lyra." He wasn't sure how he knew, but as he watched the baby sleep, he just knew. It was the same way he knew as the day went on what she needed. She never cried not since he had first held her, but still, he knew everything he needed to keep her happy.

"Lyra." Isabelle said stepping over to the sleeping baby, "Where did that name come from?"

Michael shrugged but smiled as he kept his eyes on the baby.

Isabelle looked up at Michael and then at Max to see if he noticed what she did. There was a softness in Michael's face that neither of them had seen in a long time. The way he looked at his daughter he looked like he had ten years ago before that night. When Michael looked at his daughter he seemed happy, truly happy a look that they had never thought they would see on his face again.

* * *

**AN- Kind of a filler chapter, let me know what you think. Leave a review if you want they always inspire me to write more. Also, I did me re-read/ editing very late when I should be asleep. I apologize if I missed anything. **


	3. Chapter 3

**An- Review and let me know what you guys think. Reviews help feed my muse. Also I appologise if my spell check/editing isn't great. I've been really sick and was exhausted when I did all that. **

* * *

It had been two days since Lyra came into Michael's life and now, he couldn't imagine his life without the little girl and in a way, it seemed to help put his family back together. His family, meaning Max and Isabelle. He found himself at Max's house a lot so much so that Max's living room now looked like come toy store blew up inside of it. Isabelle had gone on a shopping spree and bought almost any baby toy at she could find. She had even set up Max's guest room as a pink explosion she called a baby room. He had thought Max would be upset, but his old best friend took it in stride saying that it made sense there wasn't much room for this stuff in Michael's trailer.

The routine was almost easy to fall into the three of them taking care of the little girl. Michael had yet to hear her cry, at first, she did when she was around Max and Isabelle, but in time they seemed to understand her the way Michael did. Without words, just feelings that told them exactly what she wanted. It was good she didn't cry, the few times she had around Max and Isabelle things like windows had shattered.

Michael hadn't been at the bar since Lyra arrived and he hadn't been drunk since then. He still chugged acetone, but he wasn't the town drunk. He glanced over at Lyra as she slept on his bed he knew he should get her something to sleep in at his trailer, but he wasn't sure where he could put anything for her so he just put pillows around her hoping she wouldn't roll. She hadn't wanted to fall asleep last night. When they stayed over at Max's house as soon as she was in her crib she fell asleep, but here she seemed to think everything was a game. Michael had been up most of the night with her. He had just taken a quick shower and his hair was still wet as he watched her when he heard a tow truck pulling up into the lot. He glanced out the window and knew instantly whose car was attached to the truck. Alex. The hood was pushed in and the headlight was busted out. Worry instantly hit him as he opened the door and stepped outside the truck driver looked at him seeing him in only a pair of jeans and seemed to roll his eyes.

"What happened?" Michael asked.

"Guy fell asleep at the wheel, hit a telephone pole." The man said looking down at the clipboard.

"Is he alright?" Michael couldn't help the worry the washed over him.

"How should I know?" the man grumbled, "Just sign for it so I can drop it."

Michael nodded and took the clipboard as the man set to letting Alex's car down and once the car was off the truck the guy left. He sighed as he looked over the damages, at least the car wasn't totaled. He would have to replace the hood and the headlight, but overall it didn't seem like the accident was a very bad one. While he was bent over the car, he heard another pull up. He expected to see Max or Isabelle as last night was his first night alone with the baby, he assumed they would be worried he hadn't been able to handle it, but it was neither of them. Liz and Alex were getting out of the car. Alex had what looked like a bruise forming on the side of his face but otherwise seemed alright. He felt himself letting out a sigh relieving tension he hadn't realized he had been holding. Alex was alright.

"So Guerin," Alex said walking up using his crutch looking like his limp was a little stronger today than it usually was. "What's the damage?" Alex never looked at Michael just at the car.

"Are you alright?" Michael found himself asked without answering the question.

"I'm fine." Alex looked up at him and their eyes met. Alex could see the worry in Michael's face and it made his heart rate pick up. "Just a little bruised."

"He has a concussion," Liz said as she came up to the two, not seeing the look the men shared with each other. Alex stiffened and took a step away from Michael and looked back down at the car.

Michael was about to ask again if Alex was sure he was alright, but then he sensed it. Lyra was awake he tried to ignore the sense for a moment so he could finish talking to them, but then he heard her begin to cry and as she did the trailer started to rattle. Liz looked up, but Alex who had ducked into the car to grab some of his things hadn't.

"What are you doing?" She whispered to Michael.

"It's not me." He quickly said as he hurried over to the trailer and went inside. Instantly when Lyra saw him, she smiled, and the shaking stopped. He sighed and picked her up, he would have to figure out a way to get the child under control but not with Alex sitting outside. He walked out of the trailer and back over to Liz and Alex who were both looking at him now.

"Maria said-" Alex didn't look like he could believe his eyes, "But I didn't- I mean- A baby?"

"Uh yeah." Michael felt like he had betrayed Alex somehow, but he knew he didn't. Alex and him weren't a thing he didn't have to tell Alex everything. But he wanted to put Lyra in Alex's arms and smile, tell Alex all about the little girl. He wanted Alex to hold her and love her the way he did. "Her name's Lyra."

"So, she's yours?" Liz asked.

Michael wanted to roll his eyes at Liz he still didn't like her not after how she used Max. She had Max wrapped around her finger and maybe he was just a little upset on the fact she was allowed to know about them. He feared what she could do, but it also made him wonder what would it be like if Alex knew? Would it change everything? Or would it push Alex away he was in the military after all? He resented the fact Liz was told the truth and, in a way it hurt knowing she walked away from Max and just used him as a lab rat. It was proof the humans couldn't be trusted not with their secret not with anything. Deep down his mind told him Alex was different that Alex wouldn't care, but he also knew Alex walked away for the simple fact he was selling some black-market copper wire because as Alex called him, he was a criminal. What would Alex think if he ever found out he wasn't even human? He could never tell Alex they weren't meant to be they never were.

"Yes." He finally said Lyra smiled when she saw the other people looking at her.

"She has your smile," Alex said softly Michael could tell he hadn't meant to say it, the words just slipped out, but it still made Michael give a small smile.

"That's what Iz said." He glanced down at his daughter. He hardly understood the feelings that washed over him when he looked at her. He loved her he knew that without a doubt.

"You are going to keep her?" Liz asked, Michael instantly looked at her and glared. He didn't like Liz he would never like her. He just hoped she would leave town again and this time not come back.

"Of course, I'm keeping her." He almost growled at her. "I've seen what the system does to someone. I'm not about to put her through that."

To Michael's surprise, Liz's expression softened as she looked at him as if she understood him. He grew angrier with her, she could never understand him any of them.

"That's good." Alex's voice broke through Michael's thoughts, "That you're keeping her."

Michael looked over at Alex, "I want her to know she always has at least one person that won't walk away." He saw hurt flash across Alex's face. He couldn't help but be satisfied for once he was the one that hurt Alex instead of Alex hurting him.

Finally, after a moment of Alex and Michael looking at each other Alex finally spoke, "How long before the car can be fixed."

"Don't know I have a lot of work to do." He glanced around the garage, "Other cars that came first."

"Please." Alex told him, "It's all I have to drive."

"Shouldn't be driving with a concussion," Michael told him.

"You did."

"I didn't have one."

"Yes, you did." Alex told him, "I-" he stopped when he glanced at Liz that a coldness washed over Alex's face, "Whenever you get it fixed let me know."

Michael glanced at Liz then back at Alex and let a smirk play across his face, "I'll call you."

Alex nodded his head, "let me give you my number."

Michael wanted to roll his eyes, he already had Alex's number, but Alex was so set on nobody knowing what they used to be he had to put up an act even around Liz the girl who was supposed to be his best friend. "Sure." Michael found himself saying.

"I'll be right back," Liz said as she glanced down at her phone and walked over to her car as she answered it leaving Michael and Alex.

"She really does look like you," Alex said his eyes on the baby.

"So you've said."

"How long have you had a- a daughter?"

"She looks about eight months." Michael told him then he sighed, "She was dropped off at the police station with Max the night I spent at your place. I didn't know about her before then."

"So this is new." Alex said, "For you I mean, do you know how to take care of a baby?"

"No clue." Michael looked down at Lyra in his arms she was looking at Alex and making soft little giggle cooing noises. "Max and Isabelle are helping."

"Max? You guys are good?"

Michael frowned, "Why wouldn't we be?"

"I don't know you two don't seem well like you used to." Alex put his free hand in his pocket and leaned slightly on his crutch.

"Yeah well, he doesn't like hanging around a criminal either." He replied flatly as Liz came walking back over.

"Hey, I've got to get back to work. Are you ready Alex?"

Alex nodded his head as he still was looking at Michael but finally looked away and over to Liz, "Let's go."

* * *

"This is an awful idea," Michael growled at Max as Isabelle walked around the living room with Lyra on her hip.

"It's her choice," Max said softly.

"I'm dangerous," Isabelle said from the living room.

"We don't know that." Michael hated the idea that she was going to lock herself away, she was going to leave.

"Yes, we do." Isabelle said, "You do, you guys know what I did. We have to think of Lyra now. If I-" she paused as her voice shook, "What happens if I hurt her?"

It was amazing how quickly all three of them took to the little girl. It was as if some part of them knew she was like them and that drew them to need her around. It was the same pull they had towards each other.

"You won't," Michael told her.

"You don't know that!" he yelled which caused Lyra to jump and her little lip trembled. "I'm sorry little one." He said as he walked over and took her in his arms. Instantly her lip stopped trembling. "I need your help with her. Do you really think I can do this on my own?" Isabelle smiled,

"I like this version of you." She looked up at Michael.

"This version?" he asked.

She nodded her head, "If you asked me in the past if you'd ever be a good father I would have laughed." She looked down at Lyra then back at Michael, "But you're a natural. You don't need me, and you have Max."

"We need you," Max said stepping forward. "I need you."

"I'm not safe." Isabelle told him then looked at Michael, "Think of your daughter."

Michael wanted to argue he wanted to tell her that she never would, but no one knew what happened that night. No one knew who what Isabelle was truly capable of. Even if deep down he knew she would never harm anyone. "I think this is a horrible plan."

"It's our only choice." She leaned forward and kissed the top of Lyra's head.

* * *

**6 Weeks Later. **

Michael, Max, and Liz all stood unsure of what to really do. There was a festival going on main street, with vendors and activates for those everyone to participate in. Max had told Michael it would be good to bring Lyra so she could be around other babies and be able to experience a normal life. Michael didn't want to argue even though a part of Max seemed to be missing without Isabelle he still seemed somewhat different than the man he had become. Michael could feel that something changed between them. No longer did they recoil when the other was near. No longer did they remind each other of that awful night. A weight had been lifted from both of them. In a way, they were friends again the way they had once been, brothers. So now here they were watching other kids running around getting their face painted, going on pony rides and eating candies. Michael glanced over at Max who looked over at him.

"Where do we start?" Michael asked he hated town functions he tried to stay away from them at all cost. He also noticed most of the kids Lyra's age were in the hands of their mother's as they were held on ponies and getting their faces painted.

"No idea." Max seemed just as uncomfortable as he did so they both stood just watching the crowd.

"Come on." Liz almost laughed at them and reached out for Lyra who happily went to her. In the time they had been working together Michael actually started to like Liz. He could see why Max was drawn to her and he could also see that even though Liz wouldn't admit it she lit up when Max came into the room. He found that he trusted Liz now and didn't mind handing the little girl off to her.

Liz led them over to the crowd of people, Michael and Max just followed still uncomfortable as Liz talked baby talk to the little girl. "Ponies first?" she asked Lyra. Michael could feel it deep within that Lyra agreed. He wasn't sure if Liz could feel it, but she still walked over to the pony ride line. Max and Michael followed, Max had his hands in his pockets looking maybe more uncomfortable then Michael was in this crowd. Michael wanted to smirk. He knew it was because Liz was here, Max always got weird around her. "Does daddy want to take you on the pony ride?" Liz asked Lyra but really was asking Michael if he wanted to. Michael was surprised how strange the word daddy sounded in reference to him, but also how natural it sounded all at the same time.

"I'm good." Michael shook his head, "I don't like them."

Liz looked up, "Horses?" she wrinkled her nose, "Didn't you work on a ranch, I thought ranch's had horses."

"Horses yes, Ponies." He shook his head, "No, there was only one and he was awful." Liz laughed and Michael couldn't help but smile, "Just watch yourself, they might be cute but they are closer to hell than any horse."

"Here," Liz said handing Michael her phone knowing he didn't have one.

"What's this for?" He asked.

"To take pictures." She told him, "Of her first pony ride. One day you will want to look back and remember this."

Michael hadn't even thought of taking pictures. He remembered when he was younger and had gone over Max's house. His parents had pictures of Isabelle and Max everywhere. That was a practice that happy families did, something that parents who loved their children did. He never had parents that did that for him, so he only nodded his head. When Liz walked over to the pony and placed Lyra in the saddle, she stayed next to her and held her as the pony's leader began walking it. Lyra laughed, even being as young as she was Michael loved hearing her laugh, it never stopped making him smile. So, he snapped a few pictures of her laughing as Liz smiled down at her. He snapped another of Lyra giggling her nose scrunched up slightly as she held onto the horn in front of her. He knew that even without these pictures he would still remember this day, this moment forever. His little girl laughing and smiling, his family.

When they moved far enough away, he couldn't get a good picture he lowered the phone and glanced at Max.

"I see it." He told him

"See what?" he asked confused.

"Why you love her, why you saved her, and why you told her." He sighed, "She isn't as bad as I thought."

Max looked at him for a moment like he was going to say something, but then his body softened, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Just for understanding." He paused, "If you want to tell him you can."

Michael looked back at Liz and Lyra and shook his head. "We aren't like you and Liz." He told Max, "The way you love her." He shook his head, "She accepts you." He paused again letting out a sigh "He will never accept me, not all of me."

"You don't know that," Max told him seeing or rather sensing the hurt from Michael. He wondered how he had never seen it over these past ten years. Letting go of the secret it seemed to unlock the part of Max that was connected to Michael. He knew he had let Michael down even if Michael wouldn't admit it. Max ignored all the signs, the way Michael acted wasn't because he hated everyone. No, it was because he felt alone, he felt like everyone would always choose someone or something else before him.

"I do." Michael told him, "He says he can't be with a criminal. If he can't look past some of my hustles do you think he could look past me not even being human?"

Max wasn't sure so he didn't answer. He looked back over to Liz as the pony turned around and was heading back to them.

"It doesn't matter." Michael told him, "He's in the air force his father is-" he shook his head, "It was ten years ago we were kids."

"I knew I loved Liz back then," Max told him.

"I never said I loved him," Michael muttered.

"You don't have to."

Before Michael could respond Liz was walking back over to them. Lyra's little lip was trembling as if she was about to cry.

"She didn't want to get off," Liz told him as Lyra began to cry and the table next to them began to shake. Michael quickly took his truck keys from his pocket and bounced them in front of her. Lyra was instantly distracted and her crying stopped along with the shaking of a table near them.

"We need to get that under control." Max sighed.

"How do we suggest we do that?" Michael asked.

"Avoid making her cry?" Liz asked.

"That's easier said than done. She can't always get her way." Michael told Liz as Lyra took the keys from his hand and began to shake them.

"Well, today we can." Liz smirked, "Today is about fun." She glanced at the face painting station and her smirk turned to a grin. "Can I take her over there? Please, Michael."

He sighed but told her she could, Lyra seemed to enjoy spending time with Liz and it saved him from having to be around all the little housewife mother's that were surrounding all the kid activates.

* * *

It was later, the activities had ended and now a live band played while tables had been set up for everyone to eat at. Michael, Liz, and Max sat down at a table with Lyra sitting in Michael's lap. She had spent most of the day with Liz who had enjoyed taking her around to all the different activates. Max and Michael followed and took pictures as they did. Overall Michael had been very surprised at how much he enjoyed the day. Now they were all sitting down to eat. Michael had turned Lyra around to look at him as he held her so she was standing on his lap and bouncing her up and down as she laughed. Max and Liz went to get food, but Michael hardly noticed them leave as he played with her. He was surprised when a plate of food appeared in front of him. He looked up to see Max sitting down on his right placing his own plate down as well.

"Got you food so you didn't have to get up," Max told him as Liz sat down and put a bowl of orange looking mush in front of Michael.

Michael looked at it and wrinkled his nose, "What is that?"

"I asked My dad earlier to make some homemade baby food for her." Liz told him, "Squash I think."

He looked at her in surprise, "Uh thanks."

Liz didn't get a chance to respond because her eyes caught her other two friends.

"Alex, Maria!" she called waving them over.

Alex and Maria had decided to have dinner at the festival and were about to sit down when Liz drew their attention. Maria smiled and waved back,

"Come on Alex, let's sit with Liz."

"She's sitting with Guerin." Alex frowned.

"Come on he isn't that bad. She has a thing for Max and apparently, they are a package deal again." She pulled him towards them and to avoid stumbling he followed her. Once they got to the circular table Maria sat on Liz's right and Max was already on her left. There was only one seat left and that was next to Michael. Alex glanced at the seat then glanced at Michael who was leaning back in the seat bouncing his baby up and down. _His baby_. Alex still couldn't fully wrap his mind around the idea that Michael had a baby. Michael looked away from the baby and up at Alex for a moment then as the empty chair. Maria and Liz were already locked into a conversation they didn't even notice Alex hadn't taken a seat. Max, on the other hand, froze with his spoon frozen half scooping his rice. His eyes darted between Alex and Michael to see how they would interact.

Finally, Michael leaned forward and turned Lyra around sitting her on his lap. "You gonna stand there all-day Manes or sit down?"

Alex didn't say anything but sat in the chair. Max could tell Alex wasn't comfortable, but he wondered if anyone else did who didn't know about his and Michael's past.

Michael ignored his place of food and picked up a spoon and scooped a little bit of the baby food Liz's dad made. He brought it to Lyra's mouth who happily ate it. "Huh, she likes it," Michael said, this drew Liz's attention.

"Of course, my dad made it, everyone loves his food." Alex was pushing his food around his plate, which also caught Liz's attention, "Except Alex maybe."

Alex looked up quickly, "No I- It's- I like it."

Michael smirked it was cute when Alex was at a loss for words. He liked both sides he could see of Alex. The soft worried side that didn't seem to think much of himself after hearing from his dad time and time again he wasn't good enough. And the other side, the side that even when he was a teenager Michael could see. The man Alex would become strong-willed and able to stand on his own.

"I can feed her if you want to eat," Liz told Michael she had only gotten a burger and already had eaten it.

Michael was about to turn down the offer, but Lyra reached out to Liz and with Maria and Alex at the table, he didn't want to tempt Lyra's temper. Liz stood up as did Michael as he handed the baby over the table to Liz and Max grabbed the bowl of baby food and put it next to Liz. Michael sat back down as Maria and Liz both cooed over the baby. Maria seemed to forget about her own meal as she picked up the bowl and spoon and helped Liz feed the baby. Michael hadn't realized how hungry he was until he started eating, the only ones talking at the table were Liz and Maria to Lyra. Michael made sure to pay attention to his food as did Alex. Max watched both men as he tried to figure out how to get a conversation going finally words tumbled out of his mouth,

"How have you been Alex?" Max asked, "I heard your dad left town."

Michael looked up from his food at the mention of Alex's father.

"Yeah had to go to Africa. Orders." Alex didn't want to talk about his dad, not in front of Michael. Alex couldn't help but look down at Michael's left hand and instantly guilt filled him. Michael's eyes followed Alex's to his hand, then back to Alex.

The conversation seemed to die quickly which only made Max feel more uncomfortable with the silence. Then Finally Alex spoke,

"Thanks for fixing my car." He said to Michael.

"It's my job." Michael told him again everyone fell into silence for a moment.

"He has to fix my jeep a lot." Max added hoping to keep any conversation flowing.

The other two men just looked at Max and all three of them turned back to their food and continued eating.

"Sorry to hear about your sister." Alex was struggling to find conversation as well. His mind kept thinking about Michael right next to him. It was almost like he could feel a pull to Michael an electric current between them.

Max nodded his head but didn't offer any words to add to the conversation, he didn't want to talk about Isabelle.

"We all do rehab eventually." Michael said sounding casual.

"No." Alex said, "Not everyone."

The conversation died once more, this time all three men decided it wasn't worth trying to start up any. Instead, they just finished their plates of food until Maria and Liz finished feeding the baby. Maria glanced over at the three who sat in silence and raised her eyebrow,

"You guys sure are a lot of fun tonight." She grinned, "I'll be right back." She jumped up and headed in the direction of the wild pony. Within five minutes she was back with a bottle of whiskey. "Who wants a drink?" she didn't wait for an answer as she filled up cups for everyone. Liz handed Lyra back to Michael from across the table when the baby reached for him.

"I'm good," Michael said as he sat back down in his chair the baby sitting on his lap.

Maria froze as she was handing Alex his drink. "Never thought I'd heard the day when you said that Guerin."

"I'll take one," Max said.

"Never thought I'd hear that one either." Maria grinned, "Usually you're more of a beer man." She quickly downed her shot then glanced at the time on her phone. "Is that really the time? I'm late." She stood up and hurried to where the band was. They had stopped playing as they seemed to be waiting for someone. Maria stepped on stage and music began to play. Michael smiled when she grabbed the microphone and began to sing.

**_"I didn't hear you leave." _**

"Come on." Liz said taking Max's hand, "Dance with me."

"No, I-" Max stumbled for an answer.

Michael turned to grin at Max, "Go before I make you take Lyra and I dance with her."

Max sighed and allowed Liz to take him to where other couple began to dance. Leaving Alex and Michael sitting alone. Lyra was now laying on Michael leaning against his chest. He was slouched down in the chair. Her eyes were slowly closing as she drifted off to sleep.

**_"I wonder how I'm still here." _**

The two sat in silence for a bit before Alex reached forward and grabbed the last cup of whiskey that Maria had poured for Michael and downed it.

"You alright private?" Michael asked watching him.

"I'm fine." Alex sat back in his chair and let his eyes fall on Max and Liz. "I didn't know they were seeing each other."

Michael nodded his head, "He's loved her since high school. This is his second chance."

**_"And I don't want to move a thing. It might change my memory." _**

"Does she love him?" Alex asked not really remembering Liz talking about Max much. Michael sighed, he had known idea why Alex was asking him about Max and Liz but at least they were talking. Michael wanted to hold on to any moment Alex would give him even if he knew it wouldn't last.

"How should I know?" Michael sighed and then finally said, "Maybe, I think so. She just won't admit it yet."

Alex turned to look at Michael and saw his daughter had now fallen completely asleep on him. The image before him made something within him flutter. And a part of him wished he was part of Michael's family. "What makes you believe that?"

"He told her all his secrets." Michael found himself saying, "And she didn't walk away." Michael glanced over at Alex for a moment and then back out at Max and Liz as they danced.

Alex couldn't help but feel a stab in his heart as if those words were somehow directed at him. He looked down at his hands and didn't look at Michael until he knew Michael had looked away. Again he felt his stomach turn over when his eyes saw Michael slowly rubbing Lyra's back, it seemed like Michael's hands were moving without even thinking about it like he was subconsciously soothing the little girl. Being a father seemed to come naturally to him. "He trusted her enough to tell her." Alex felt himself saying, "To let her in. That had to mean something to her."

**_"Oh I am what I am I'll do what I want."_**

Michael turned his head back to Alex and for a moment wondered if they were really talking about Max and Liz. "Max is the talking type." He told Alex, "the trusting type." Lyra stirred which caused Michael to look down at her to see if she was still asleep. She was.

"she'll end up breaking his heart." Michael told him cynically, "She did in high school, she will again." He sighed, "Only this time it will hurt more because he told her."

"What great secret can Max Evens have?" Alex asked

Michael looked over at Alex, "We all have our secrets we are afraid to let anyone know."

"Even you?"

"Yes." Michael looked down at Lyra trying to look anywhere to avoid Alex's gaze. "Even me."

**_"But I can't hide, and I won't go, I won't sleep." _**

Max loved having Liz in his arms so many times he thought of moments like this he wasn't really sure what to do. She swayed back and forth in his arms, their eyes on each other.

"Thank you." He told her, "For today."

"It was fun." Liz stepped closer to him as Maria sang. "Michael seems to be doing well, but today was defiantly out of his element."

"He doesn't like people." Max glanced over at Michael and noticed he and Alex seemed to be talking. That was good. Right?

"People or humans." She asked.

"Both I guess." Max looked back down at Liz. "His foster homes taught him not to trust anyone. When we finally met up with him again it took a long time for us to get him to trust us." He looked back over at Michael, "Sometimes I wonder if he really does. These past ten years, I've let him down."

**_"I can't breathe until you're resting here with me."_**

"You look tired," Alex said to Michael

"She doesn't like to sleep at night." Michael told him, "Keeps me up half the night."

Alex looked down at the baby and back up at Michael, "Do you have any help?"

"Isabelle before she" He paused, "Went to rehab she was staying with me after Noah kicked her out."

"What about now?"

"Max sometimes and Liz today she helped out."

**_"And I won't leave, and I can't hide."_**

"They seem to be getting along," Liz said as she leaned into Max's arms.

"Who?" Max followed her gaze to see Alex and Michael and he couldn't help but smile,

"They do from time to time." Maybe Michael could fix things with Alex and finally be happy. Max always saw the stolen looks Michael took whenever he thought no one was looking. He knew without Michael saying how much he cared for the other man.

Liz looked at him, "Wait." Max tried to get rid of the smile, "Michael sleeps with every girl that walks."

"Yeah." Max agreed, "He likes sleeping with many girls."

"Max." Liz stopped dancing looking from him then at Michael and Alex.

**_"I cannot be until you are resting here with me."_**

"I think you're doing a good job," Alex said

Michael scoffed, "How can you be sure?"

"Because sometimes I don't look away either." He reached forward and took Michael's left hand in his own. Michael looked down at his hand in Alex's hand unsure of what he was feeling.

**_"I don't want to call my friends." _**

"Have they hooked up?" Liz asked Max

"How did you get that out of what I said?" he asked, but then Max sighed, "He doesn't tell me things. Not like that Liz."

"Like what? He's always bragging about who he gets into bed." Liz hated to think Alex was going to be used like that. "I never thought he was into guys."

"I don't think they are like that." He told her, "I think it's only been, Alex." Michael had never told Max much about Alex. He just remembered back when he threw Alex in Michael's face and then later when Michael told him how Alex really messed him up.

"Why not?"

"Because Michael doesn't talk about him." Max told her, "He's never actually told me, not really. Just in high school the way they looked at each other."

"Back in high school?" Liz relaxed a little, back in high school Michael wasn't the same person he was now.

"I don't know." Max told her, "I think Michael really cared about him a long time ago."

Liz saw Alex take Michael's hand. "What about now?"

"I think Michael doesn't want to care about anyone." Max looked over at them just in time to see Michael pull his hand away from Alex.

**_"They might wake me from this dream." _**

"Careful Manes." Michael sat up slowly trying not to wake the baby, "Someone might see you talkin' to a criminal." Lyra opened her eyes and began to whimper softly. "It's alright." He whispered to her and rubbed her back in circles the way Isabelle had taught him telling him it was something her mother did when she was upset when she was little. "Shh little one."

Alex leaned back in his chair away from Michael but watched him sooth the baby. He watched as she fell back asleep. "My dad's gone now," Alex told him.

"So?" Michael turned his eyes on Alex, "What's that got to do with anything?"

"It doesn't," Alex said quickly. "I just thought you should know."

**_"And I can't leave this bed."_**

Max looked over at Alex and Michael, "Alex broke his heart."

"What do you mean?" Liz asked as they began to dance again.

"Look at the way Michael looks at him." Max told her, "If I were writing a story about someone longing to be with someone, I'd write my character looking the way Michael is."

Liz looked over at the two and took notice of Alex looking anywhere except at Michael and the way Michael was looking at Alex whenever he knew Alex wasn't looking. "Alex never told me." She paused, "Well he said in high school some guy kissed him in the museum." She looked over at Michael, "Was that him?"

"I don't know." Max shrugged his shoulders, "Really he doesn't tell me anything."

**_"Risk forgetting all that's been." _**

"We could be friends." Alex found himself saying, "Can't we?"

Michael looked at him. He didn't want to be Alex's friend he wanted to be more than that. He wanted to wake up every morning to Alex by his side. He wanted Alex to love him no matter what. He wanted to tell him about what he was. "Sure." He said softly, maybe being friends was as much as Michael could ever be lucky enough to have. "If that's what you want."

Alex's eyes searched Michael's wanting to tell Michael that he wanted more than that, that Michael was the only thought that could calm him down when he couldn't sleep, but there was a part of Michael that he doubted he would ever be allowed to see. He couldn't even understand what it was about him that he was drawn to. They hardly knew one another other than the fact they had great sex. "I want you in my life."

"I'm a criminal." Michael told him, "Isn't that bad for your reputation?"

Alex shrugged, "I'm not sure I care anymore."

Michael wasn't sure what to say, but he didn't have to this time Lyra stirred and opened her eyes. He could tell just by one look she was awake now so he spun her around so she was sitting on his lap now looking at Alex.

**_"Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want."_**

"Huh," Liz said looking over Max's shoulder at the two men and the baby. "Weirdly enough I can see it."

"See what?" Max asked turning them both slightly so he could glance at Michael and Alex.

"Them." She told him then looked up into her eyes.

"Michael thinks it can't last." He paused for a moment, "Humans and our kind."

"And what do you think?" Liz asked

He sighed, "I don't know." He told her, "I've never tried having a long-lasting relationship."

"You've never been in a serious relationship?" she asked, "You've never fallen in love?"

"Only once." Max found himself saying.

**_"But I can't hide, and I won't go." _**

Lyra reached out to Alex. Alex looked up at Michael for a moment in an unspoken question if it was alright. Michael nodded his head as he handed the baby over to Alex. He couldn't help but smile when he saw Lyra in Alex's arms. This was something he had never even dared to dream, but sometimes the images had come to his mind when he was asleep. A life they could have shared if the world was a different place if they were different. Michael leaned back in his chair and felt a sense of peace wash over him or was it a sense of contentment?

"What?" Alex who had been looking down at Lyra in his lap just took notice of Michael's smile.

"Nothing." He sighed, "It's just nice."

"What is?" Alex asked.

"Being your friend." He paused, "talking to you."

**_"I won't sleep, and I can't breathe_**."

Liz couldn't stop looking at Max she wanted to tell him how she really felt, but he didn't know her not anymore. He knew who she used to be, not the woman she had become. "Max," she said looking down.

"It's alright." He told her, "I understand you don't feel the way I do."

"Max you don't know me," Liz told him.

"I do." He told her

"You know the girl I was not who I am now."

"I see you." He told her, "No matter what happens"

**_"Until your resting here with me_**."

"We never did much of that did we?" Alex asked.

"Much of what?" Michael asked his eyes stayed on Lyra purposely avoiding looking at Alex's face.

"Talking."

Michael then looked up at Alex his eyes scanned over the other man trying to figure out what to say, trying to ignore what he really wanted to do. "We did talk."

"No, not really," Alex argued. "Not about us, I don't even know your middle name."

"I don't have one." Michael told him, "No one ever cared enough to give me one."

Alex looked down at Lyra who giggled at him, which brought a smile to Alex's face, she had Michael's smile and his eyes.

**_"And I won't leave, and I won't hide." _**

"How can you be so sure?" Liz asked.

"I just am." He smiled down at her, "I've always been sure."

The two stopped talking as Liz smiled at Max. She still had mixed feelings, she had feelings for Max before she left town, but after everything with Rosa she had run away and tried to put everything that had to do with Roswell behind her. Max had been included in that, she wanted to forget him and the town, but he never forgot her he never wanted to. So instead she just kept her eyes locked on Max's eyes as they listened to Maria sing.

**_"I cannot be until your resting here with me_**."

"We should have talked more." Alex said softly, "Gotten to know each other."  
"I know you," Michael told him.

"No, you don't," Alex argued.

Michael swallowed and the spoke, "You're a good guy who took pity on a kid living in a truck, a guy who would give a kid everyone else tried to stay away from."

"It wasn't pity." Alex told him, "It was the right thing to do."

"You put everyone before yourself." Michael continued, "You risk everything to help others, to make those in your life proud of you." He paused, "Except your heart."

Alex's heart was racing, "What do you mean?"

"I mean when your heart is on the line you make sure you're the first to walk away so the other person doesn't have the chance." Michael continued, "for some reason, you won't let yourself be happy."

"Guerin." Alex looked at the ground then back at Michael. "That's not" He paused, "I just think that if we talked more then maybe we could have been something."

**_"And I won't go and I won't sleep and I can't breathe." _**

"Where do we go from here?" Liz finally asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked

"Once we figure out a cure for Isabelle." Liz glanced away trying to ignore the fact she had really meant for them the two of them. "I mean her being sick is just one problem." She continued, "What about her blackouts?"

"We will figure it out." Max said, "When the time comes. Maybe being in the pod will help her."

**_"Until you're resting here with me." _**

"We were something." Michael told him, "You and I."

"We just had good-" he paused, "Activities together."

"She isn't even a year old she doesn't know what you're saying," Michael told him. "At least for me, we were something. You were the first person I was ever with I thought cared about me."

"I did."

"Sure," Michael told him.

**_"And I won't leave, and I can't hide. Until you're resting here with me"_**

"Max." Liz said softly, "But what if it doesn't?"

"I can't think about that right now." Max told her, "With her, I'm-" he paused looking for the right words, "I'm empty." He shook his head, "It's like I can't fully feel."

"What about right now?" Liz asked her heart rate picking up. "What do you feel right now?"

"Is this you asking or the scientist asking?" Max questioned.

"Me."

Max sighed, "When I'm with you I don't feel so numb."

Liz smiled up at him when he spoke, he always made her smile with his words.

**_"Oh I am what I am and I'll do what I want." _**

"You've always been important to me Michael," Alex told him.

Michael didn't really believe him he wanted to, he wanted to know that Alex thought about him over the past ten years as much as he did, but the way Alex could always walk away proved to him that he didn't feel what Michael did. Because if Alex did he would never be able to walk away.

"You don't believe me," Alex said softly.

"See we do know each other," Michael smirked.

**_"But I can't hide, and I won't go I won't sleep." _**

Liz rested her head on Max's chest and the two danced in silence. They listened to Maria's voice and let their worries go as they held each other. Liz closed her eyes and let her mind flashback to before the accident. When they hung out in the dessert together just the two of them making plans for a future together.

**_"And I can't breathe until you're resting here with me_**."

Alex wanted more than anything to go to Michael to forget everything that happened and only hold on to the good moments they had together. He remembered back before they stumbled onto how they felt about each other. He remembered listening to Michael play the guitar sitting and the tailgate of his truck during lunch break. Alex would go over and the two would sit together, sometimes Max sat with them, but never once did he feel judge when he was with either of them. Especially, Michael, he remembered one day when a rainstorm caught them by surprise and soaked them as they ran to the school. He remembered Michael laughing as he took off his shirt and rung it out. He remembered laughing with him it had been so long since he had laughed like that. Then he remembered lying in the shed with Michael in his arms before his father found them. He remembered the more recent memory of being in Michael's arms again inside his trailer. The way Michael tried to hide his surprise and joy that Alex was still there in the morning. He remembered that moment thinking he would be happy in that trailer waking up to Michael for the rest of his life, but soon real life came back to his mind and he knew it wouldn't last.

"I want to know you." Alex told him, "I want that." He looked over to Max and Liz.

**_ "And I won't leave, and I can't hide." _**

Max held her to him and tried to forget all the worries they had as adults and escape in his mind to a different time. Back to when they were teenagers, and everything looked so possible in the future. Where he would change his plans for her and they could travel together. together, they could have been together in another life.

**_"I cannot be until you are resting here with me." _**

Michael glanced over at Liz and Max dancing and he wished more than anything he could be out there dancing with Alex, but they would never be like that. Alex and Michael had great passion between them, but never once did they ever go out in public. Never did Alex smile at him for all to see, never did Alex take his hand and ask him to dance. Alex was ashamed of him and he always would be. If Alex couldn't get past his petty crimes Alex wouldn't be able to get past him not being human.

"We could never have been that," Michael told him.

"Why not?" Alex asked.

"Because you will never stop being ashamed of me." Michael didn't look at Alex he just kept watching Max and Liz

**_ "And I won't go and I won't sleep and I can't breathe." _**

"That's not it," Alex said looking away from Max and Liz and to Michael until the other man turned to look at him. "You will never let me in." he sighed, "You never have."

"What's the point." Michael sighed, "It's a waste of time."

"How?"

"Because you don't want to hear about that," Michael told him. "Not really, you don't want to hear about me. Because even if we did talk, even if you really knew me you would find something to walk away from."

Alex shook his head, "That's not true."

Michael reached for Lyra and the little girl opened her arms to him. He took her gently into his arms. "Yes, it is." He stood up, "If you really knew me you would walk away." He smirked, "but you've already done that so what's the point in wasting our breath in talking."

**_ "Until your resting here with me." _**

Michael shook his head as Alex tried to speak, "This time I walk away." Without waiting for Alex to speak again he walked away with Lyra in his arms. He knew he agreed to be Alex's friend, but deep down he knew that couldn't happen. He was still and would always be in love with Alex Manes.

* * *

**An- So what do you guys think? Should I continue? Leave a review they always make me want to write more. Also if you guys like Pretty Little Liars I also started a crossover story between Pretty Little Liars and Roswell NM.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN-Here is another chapter, leave a review and let me know what you think! Usually the more reviews I get the more muse I get to work on the stories I get them on! I have way too many stories in the words, but when I know people are enjoying them I always get inspired. **

* * *

Michael grinned as Lyra waddled from Max's chair to his own. He wasn't sure how old regular babies started to walk, but Lyra seemed to be doing a pretty good job. Michael could really only guess how old she was, he didn't even know which one of his one-night stands her mother was. She wasn't steady on her feet, but when she went to fall Michael helped her with his mind. He never let her fall to hard. Max was grinning also, it was like all the time Michael pushed Max away had never happened they were brothers again. Michael brought a beer to his lips while he smiled and caught Lyra as she stumbled with his power, so she didn't fall. He kept her standing upright until she seemed stable and he let her go. The little girl giggled and continued her slow waddle to him.

"How are you and Liz?" Michael asked.

"Good." Max gave his shy grin whenever he thought of Liz. Michael was happy for him he really was. Max had spent so long loving her from afar it was nice seeing him finally get the girl he always wanted. Most of the time Michael was happy for him, but sometimes he wondered what his life could be like if he could tell Alex everything. If he was brave enough to tell Alex who and what he was and allow himself to really fall in love, to believe there was a place for him here. But that would never happen, Alex would never be what Liz was for Max.

"It's Liz's birthday and we are having a small party and my house tonight, you should come."

Michael nodded his head but wasn't sure he really wanted to. If it was a party for Liz that would mean Alex was invited. He knew he had agreed to be friends with Alex, but he still found it hard being around the other man and not really being with him. Maybe this was how it was for everyone when it came to their first love. Would he ever be able to look at Alex and not feel as if a part of him was shattered? Alex spoke of Michael looking away, but in truth, it was Alex who always turned away Alex who walked away.

"Yeah, I'll see."

"Michael." Max's voice got low knowing something was wrong with his friend. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Pull away."

"I'm not pulling away." Michael didn't like talking about how he felt, it was still weird the way he and Max were lately. The way Max didn't ignore the slight change in Michael's stance or his voice, the way Max called him out on moments like this.

"Michael."

"Fine." He grumbled, "I'll come, but can't stay late, Lyra has a bedtime."

"She has her own room at my house." Max grinned, "Which she likes better than your trailer." Michael's attention came away from Lyra as he and Max talked, his attention only left for a moment, but it only took a moment for the little girl to stumble and fall into the dirt. Both Michael and Max jumped up to run to her aid, but they weren't fast enough and she began to cry as she did the window shield of Max's jeep shattered.

"Shit," Michael muttered as she scooped the little girl up. Lyra stopped when she was in her father's arms, but she whimpered softly and held her palm out to him showing that there was a small scrape on her hand.

Max reached out and quickly healed her hand it didn't take much out of him to heal such a small cut. When he finished he looked at his jeep then at Michael.

"I can fix that," Michael told him quickly.

Max couldn't help but shake his head and smile. They hadn't figured out how to control Lyra's powers yet. It was hard enough teaching a baby the word 'no' but trying to make her stop using her powers was something they had no idea about. For Lyra, her powers seemed as natural as breathing it didn't seem to make her sick.

"I'll drive you home." Michael offered.

"You better dress for a party," Max smirked

Michael rolled his eyes.

"And pack an overnight bag for Lyra," Max added

"Fine." Michael grumbled and handed Lyra to Max, "Watch her will you?" and walked away still muttering words Max couldn't hear under his breath.

Max kept the smile on his face happy that he and Michael could be like this again. He hadn't realized how much he really missed having Michael in his life. He missed having Michael as his brother. He knew that Michael wouldn't say it, but Michael missed having someone too. Lyra had helped bring them back together and to finally be honest with each other. They were all a family again ever since Liz was able to make a cure of Isabelle it was like they were in high school again, close, family.

* * *

Alex looked in the mirror and wondered what everyone saw when they looked at him. He tried his best to be the man that his father wanted him to be, not because his father wanted him to be, but because his father didn't believe he could be that guy. He pushed aside so many things that he had wanted to prove his father wrong. He thought back to high school and remembered most of it wasn't worth remembering except the small part at the end that had Michael in it. Michael had always been there through most of his life. Sometimes he would leave the school for a while when he had to live with other foster families in different towns, but he always came back.

That was Michael, he was a guy that always came back time and time again it was as if when he turned around Michael was there. He had thought Michael would have been long gone, that was one of the promises his father had made him if he went off to war. He had wanted to make music, but one of the threats his father gave was how easily he could pull a few strings and Michael's scholarship would be gone. Michael would be trapped in this little town forever and his brain and talents would have gone to waste.

When Alex left town, he tried to never look back, he didn't try and contact Michael or ask any of his friends about him. He tried to do everything in his power to put Michael out of his mind and for a while he could. He threw himself into training and hacking, he became very good at his job and he lost himself in it. Only once while he was away, he allowed himself to try and be happy. He had a boyfriend or perhaps Lucas had been more than that, they had lived together talked about a future together. Alex let himself for a while pretend he was happy or maybe he had even thought he had been happy, but when he really allowed himself to see a future it wasn't with Lucas and that was why he eventually left him. Lucas wanted it all, a wedding, a family, a home but Alex never wanted that. He hadn't thought he wanted a future where he settled down and became a father. He couldn't imagine raising a child with another man, that was until the other night.

He remembered seeing Michael sitting at the table with his daughter laying on him sleeping and he couldn't help but think of a future. He knew it could never be real and he hadn't meant to think about it, but that night when he saw Michael and Lyra his mind filled with little images of a family. Waking up every morning to Michael in his arms and a small little pitter patter of feet running to the bed and jumping on them. He thought in a moment like that he and Michael would laugh as the little girl giggled.

The thought had surprised him for many reasons but mainly for the fact for the first time ever he thought he could have a family like that and secondly his mind imagined a future with Michael. He told himself time and time again that he and Michael were over, but then why did he still picture his future with Michael in it?

His phone buzzed in his pocket and it drew his attention away from his thoughts he glanced down to see Maria had texted.

'_You almost ready? Pick me up in ten?' _

He shook off the thoughts of Michael as he realized it was getting late and he had to make it to Liz's party. He had to keep pushing himself to go out and have fun, to smile with his friends. If he smiled long enough and often enough, he could forget about what he really felt. If he pretended long enough, he could be himself again. The boy he had been back when he, Maria, and Liz all laughed together. He had to keep up the act of being happy, so they didn't question him and as of now only Maria had noticed a few times that he was sad, but he could easily put her off and turn him emotions around in front of her enough that she stopped asking questions.

'_I'm leaving now, I'll pick you up on the way.'_

He quickly texted back and slid his phone into his pocket. He glanced at himself in the mirror one more time and wondered who exactly the man was looking back at him. He had no idea not anymore.

* * *

Two hours later the party was in full swing. It wasn't as small as Max had led Michael to believe. Lyra had already fallen asleep and been put to bed in her room with a sound machine on and now Michael had no idea what to do with himself. He had grown so used to taking care of Lyra and when she went to bed, he'd work on some cars or go to the bunker and work on the ship. There were some people here he knew and others he didn't and he didn't feel like mingling. Liz was laughing with Max and a few others while Isabelle was dancing with Noah. He found himself wishing he had that, seeing Max with Liz and Isabelle with Noah he couldn't help but once again feel alone. They had found happiness in this world with the humans, what was so wrong with him that he couldn't find it?

He thought of the way Max loved Liz and how long Max had loved Liz. Even from a young age, Max had loved her even when she hadn't really seen him. Ten years she was gone and not a single bit of Max's love for the girl had faded. It was as if every moment Max was more in love then he had been before, and Michael was jealous. He was jealous not of the love, but how Max was able to show it, talk about it. Be strong. Michael didn't even like admitting that maybe just maybe he had that kind of love in his life too. Maybe that was what their kind did, fall in love so strongly with one person that there was no room in their heart for anyone else.

Michael tried to ignore the piece of him that felt like it was missing ever since Alex Manes had left down. It was like a dark void within him that no matter how much he tried to fill it with his one night stands it never seemed to close. The void seemed to consume him to make him feel cold and empty. It stayed empty until that night at the reunion and he kissed Alex and it was warmth had filled his body once more. At that moment holding Alex in his arms, he had felt whole once more. But then life got in the way again and Alex found a new reason to leave, to walk away from what they had. Michael was jealous of Max because Max didn't give up, Max believed in love and fought for it. Michael blamed Alex for walking away, but in truth maybe he should have fought harder for Alex to stay, given Alex a reason to stay instead of always finding ways to push Alex away.

Sitting down in one of the chairs next to the fire Michael just looked at the flames as they danced. He had drunk more tonight then he had since Lyra came into his life, he could feel the effects of it now and the feeling that always came with being drunk. Loneliness. Whenever he was drunk, he felt it and that was what drove him to find someone to sleep with. Sex was his answer while he was drunk and after he had sobered up, he was able to tell himself he didn't care about being alone. The thoughts of loneliness also brought other thoughts to his mind images really of one person over and over again he would see flashes of Alex and those flashes always drove him into the arms of the women at the bar.

There was no one here he could really take home for many reasons the main being the fact Lyra was here and he wasn't going to leave her sleeping here while he took a girl home. Also, most of these people weren't the type to jump into bed for a fling and not expect breakfast the next day. He never wanted anyone to stay over and he never stayed over anyone's house. The only time he was happy someone stayed the night was when Alex had. He let his eyes fall away from the fire and was surprised when he noticed a guitar leaning against one of the chairs. He just looked at it for a while and didn't even notice the small smile that came to his face when he thought of the times when he had played, and Alex had sung.

He didn't stop the memories from coming, he remembered it clearly when Alex had dreamed of creating music and not fighting in the war. They had spent hours working on songs that they could record and send out to try and show what Alex could do. He remembered sitting in the back of his truck out in the desert just the two of them. Michael playing the guitar and Alex working out the lyrics. Without thinking, Michael reached out and picked the guitar up. He hadn't played since his hand was crushed, he hadn't even tried. He knew his hand would end up cramping up, but it had more to do with the fact whenever he thought of playing, he thought of Alex and everything he had once allowed himself to hope for when he was with him. It reminded him of a time when he was fool enough to think that maybe just maybe there was a reason to stay here.

Holding the guitar, it was like time hadn't gone by it fit into his arms as if he had never put it down. He closed his eyes as his fingers found their place and played a few chords. He ignored the pain for as long as he could. It felt so good to play again, but his hand began to cramp up and his fingers stopped working. He sighed and then an idea came to him. He used his good hand, but instead of using his bad hand he reached out with his power, he let go and just played letting the music flow from the guitar he kept his eyes closed as he let go of everything in his mind. He always felt like his mind never went quiet, in high school it was playing the guitar that allowed him to let his mind go quiet. He hadn't realized how much he missed the quiet until now when he played. It was always like there was background noise going on in his mind making his thoughts go all over the place, but now when letting go of the static and noise he could see some things clearly in his mind.

_Alex sitting across from him in the bed of his truck singing and Michael playing. He could feel the feeling of being home in that truck with Alex._

_Feeling Alex lying next to him as they watched the stars, Alex pointing out the constellations and a shooting star flying across the sky. Alex told him to make a wish and him telling Alex there was nothing he wished for other than that moment. The two of them under the sky together._

_An image of Alex dancing after they drank maybe a little too much. Alex danced in the light of the fire they made to keep warm. Michael watched from his seat on the tailgate of the truck until Alex danced over and moved into between Michael's legs and tried to get Michael to dance with him. Michael laughed and told Alex he didn't dance so instead Alex just kissed him. Michael pulled him on top of him and the two rolled into the bed of the truck. _

Michael opened his eyes and felt an emptiness wash over him. Those memories were ones he tried not to think about. The memories that came from a short time in his life when he really believed that you could be happy with one person. Complete.

When he stopped, he felt like his mind came alive again, telling him to put the memories of Alex where they should be, in the past. He couldn't be that boy that fell in love with a human and allowed himself to hope a foolish hope, that there was a place for him here. There would never be a place for him, not with the humans. Not with Alex.

"You still play?" Came a voice from behind him. Michael was surprised someone was able to sneak up on him but without looking he knew who it was.

"Not really," Michael said not turning around he kept his eyes on the fire. He wondered if Alex would just walk away, but to his surprise, Alex walked around and stand in the light of the fire. He thought of high school a long time ago when a drunk Alex had danced close to him in a similar light. This man before him wasn't that teenager.

This man, this version of Alex was different and its worried Michael. Not because this version of Alex didn't love him. There was something about Alex that made Michael worry. Not for himself but for Alex. Sometimes when he saw him, he noticed things that Alex tried to hide when he thought no one was looking, only he seemed to forget Michael never looked away not when he was near Alex. He couldn't help but notice little things, like when Alex smiled it didn't go all the way to his eyes. It seemed rehearsed it seemed fake. He hadn't seen Alex smile the way he had in high school he hadn't heard Alex laugh the way he used to when they stayed out late in the desert.

"Honestly this is the first time I've picked up a guitar since-" Michael stopped, he didn't want to bring up his hand because he knew Alex felt guilty, he knew Alex blamed himself. "A long time." He finished as he looked up at Alex just in time to still see a flash of guilt come across the other man's face before he caught himself and plastered the face of a military man that showed very little emotion.

"That was pretty good." Alex shifted uncomfortably Michal notice and had a feeling it had to do with perhaps drinking a little too much and walking around on his prosthetic with no crutch.

"Sit," Michael told him.

Alex hesitated for a moment but thought better of arguing and took a seat in the other chair near Michael. "It's been a long time for me too."

That surprised Michael he remembered watching and listening to Alex sing, Alex loved it. When he sang it was like all his worry went away. "You don't sing anymore?"

"I haven't since the last time we played together."

"Why?" Michael asked, "That was all you ever wanted to do."

"I was a kid, I didn't know what I wanted back then."

Michael couldn't help the hurt that hit him with those words. Michael was one of those things for a short time that Alex had wanted, and hearing Alex say that what they had was just something of a passing fancy of a kid hurt.

"You were good." Michael found himself saying, "Your voice, I think you could have made it."

Alex looked down at the beer in his hand and for a split-second, Michael thought he saw a blush as Alex gave a shy smile. "You're just saying that because we were sleeping together."

"We were, we aren't now. I don't have to say that." Michael told him.

"Yeah but the last time you heard me we were. So, I don't think your opinion is bias." Alex looked up and met his eyes.

"Then let me hear you now." Michael's heart seemed to beat faster as he hadn't meant to say those words. He missed hearing Alex sing, he missed playing the guitar as Alex sang he missed those small moments they had together.

"I" Alex was already shaking his head, "It's been so long, I can't"

"Come on." Michael felt himself grin as he positioned the guitar back under his arm and sat up. Michael began playing using his good hand and his powers, he moved his bad hand ever so slightly hoping the darkness could hide the fact he wasn't really using it. He started to play one of the songs they wrote together.

"Guerin" Alex shook his head

"Sing." Michael grinned, "Come on."

"I can't."

Michael stopped playing for a moment and let his eyes lock with Alex, "You can." And then he started over at the start of the song. "Sing." He wondered if maybe Alex didn't remember the words, maybe the songs they wrote together didn't mean to Alex what it had for Michael, but then he heard Alex clear his throat as he began to sing.

"_Underneath the cold November sky, I'll wait for you." _

Alex didn't sound as confident as he had as a teenager. Michael could hear the hesitation in his voice, but he continued on as Michael played. Michael watched Alex as it felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He knew he had missed this, but he hadn't realized how much he needed this. Alex was here singing with him filling the void he tried to ignore.

"_And as the pages of my life roll by, I'll wait for you." _

Alex sang, but this wasn't like when he was younger. He remembered singing in the back of Michael's truck as they worked on cords together and lyrics, as they stumbled around the right sounds and the right words. Michael had always been supportive but gave necessary criticism and praise when need be. He wasn't confident like he had been back then in his talents, back then he had been a kid that thought he could rise to fame, make music and make a name for himself.

"_I'm so desperate to see your face, meet me in this broken place." _

Michael felt like had gone back in time and was filled with the feelings of the past. He let himself feel what his teenage self-had felt when he last played this song with Alex, back when he thought they had a future together, back when he thought this song would be Alex's ticket out of this town and away from his father.

"_Hold me now I need to feel you. Show me how to make it new again." _

Alex still wasn't sure in his voice, he knew it cracked when he tried to hold out on some of the words, but he only gave a quick wince and continued on because the way Michael was looking at him made him feel like he could do anything just like in high school. Just like back when he felt having Michael by his side would give him the strength to choose what he wanted from life.

"_There's nowhere I can run to. And nothing I could ever do." _

More than anything Michael wished he could go back in time so that he would believe this moment was more than it was. So he could believe that the man sitting in front of him and singing was his and only his.

"_I'm nowhere if I'm here, without you." _

Alex found it amazing how for the most part they could fall right back to this, he knew his voice wasn't as conditioned as it had been in high school and perhaps a bit deeper, but the words came to him as if it was only yesterday, they had written the song. And Michael playing it was hard to believe he hadn't picked up a guitar in years. Alex noticed a few mistakes, but nothing huge only mistakes he knew because he and Michael had written the song together.

Then to Alex's surprise, Michael joined in singing the next line,

"_Even if you take it all away, I'll wait for you." _

Michael's eyes stayed locked on Alex and Alex felt flustered and wondered if it showed on his face. He couldn't help but think Michael took that line on purpose. Michael continued to sing as Alex couldn't seem to find the words.

"_Even when the light begins to fade, I'll wait for you." _

Michael knew his voice wasn't what Alex's was, but he knew he wasn't bad either. He wasn't sure why he started to sing but playing and singing with Alex made him feel like there was still something between them. Something he wasn't ready to give up on. So he kept singing to Alex, for Alex.

"_I'm so desperate calling out your name, meet me in this broken place." _

Alex wanted to look away, what he was feeling right now listening to Michael sing and play made it feel like his heart was going to burst. He tried to blame it on drinking too many beers, but he wanted to move to Michael right now and kiss him then pull him in the direction of anywhere that was private. Michael's pace began to pick up on the guitar and he seemed to nod for Alex telling him to pick up the lyrics once more and Alex did.

"_Hold me now I need to feel you. Show me how to make it new again." _

Alex smiled and as he sang his confidence seeming to rise. The pace of the song picked up. Michael smiled with him showing he was enjoying himself as much as Alex was.

"_I'm nowhere if I here, without you." _

Alex felt like himself again the guy he had been before the war. He could let go of the soldier he had become. He watched Michael play memorized by him and the thought came to his mind that Michael would love him no matter what. They had never told each other that they loved one another, but Alex knew. The way they were around each other the electricity that was between them that seemed to draw them together time and time again. Whatever they had was something some people searched for their whole lives.

"_I'm tired of running, wrestling with these angels"_

And while he sang and Michael played the party continued on behind them, it was as if they were the only two for miles just like back in high school. Everyone else didn't matter as they drank and laughed in the distance until someone set off a firework. It shot into the sky and lit up the darkness the explosion brought cheers from the party goers, but for Alex, it seemed to chase away any thought he had of Michael loving him.

Instead of Michael playing the guitar in front of him he saw _her_. The little girl covered in blood, he could feel the gun in his hands. He stopped singing as Michael's guitar faded from his ears. He could only hear shouts, screaming, and explosions. He was kneeling in the middle of the war the sun was beating down on him as he knelt next to that little girl. Her blood was splattered all over him, all over the ground and pooling out of her. He did that, he killed a little girl. Another explosion made him stand up quickly and stumble backward away from her, away from what he did.

"No." he shook his head, "No." he knew this couldn't be real this was a memory, he didn't want to see this he hated seeing this. This was usually an image he saw while he slept, he wasn't sure why he saw it now. Maybe it was his minds way of saying he didn't deserve to be happy with Michael when he almost allowed himself to believe he could live a normal life with someone.

He should have known better, he didn't deserve to carry on with his life when he had ended the life of the little girl. He was a monster. Even though he hadn't really wanted to join the military he had still believed that they were the good guys. But that day in that village surrounded by dead women and children hearing the screams and gunfire he realized that he was the monster just like his father.

It was hard to breathe as he let himself collapse to his knees, he looked at his hands and saw his hands covered in blood they began to shake as he felt cold, empty, hollow.

"Alex." A soft voice seemed to call to him, it was faint, but he could hear it through the screams and the gunfire. "Alex!" the voice got louder, and the noise of the warzone seemed to fade away, the images of the little girl drifted away. He was surrounded by darkness he kept trying to breathe. It felt like he couldn't get enough air, the darkness seemed to be sucking it away along with any warmth in his body.

"Alex." Appearing in the darkness Michael was standing in front of him worry clearly showing on his face, Alex wanted to tell him everything was fine, put on a smile but he couldn't. He shook his head and refused to meet Michael's eyes fearing that he had seen that little girl, fearing what Michael would think of him if he really knew everything.

"Alex." Michael knelt down slowly in front of him. "Hey." he reached out and touched Alex's arm. Alex looked down as he felt himself warming up, it seemed where Michael touched him, he could feel more than just numbing cold. "Breath." He heard Michael tell him. He had been telling himself to breathe, but until he heard Michael speak those words, he hadn't been able to calm himself down enough. Slowly he could feel the air coming back to his lungs and Max's backyard came into view. His mind could make sense of the things going on around him again. He closed his eyes for a moment and chased away the last few imagines of the little girl when he opened them, he saw Michael's eyes locked on his. "Are you ok?" he asked. Alex was about to answer, but another firework shot into the sky and he couldn't help but jump slightly. He closed his eyes again and told himself to focus on the moment, not on the past. He opened his eyes again and saw Michael hadn't looked away.

"I'm, I'm" his voice was shaky and weak it faltered when another explosion sounded. "Fine." He breathed, but he could tell Michael didn't believe him, but he didn't say anything. Instead, his eyes flickered away for a moment and then he looked back. Michael reached forward and pulled Alex into his arms and held him as a bunch of fireworks launched into the sky setting off multiple explosions and flashes of light. Alex wanted to pull away to tell Michael he was fine, but he couldn't control his body right now as it still shook. The explosions and lights were all too similar to that day. Michael didn't try and get him to talk, instead, he just held him, Alex, until the explosions stopped, and then he waited until Alex's body stopped shaking.

When the fireworks stopped it took a few minutes, but Alex stopped shaking and his sense returned to him in full. He realized Michael was still holding him, so he pulled back and stood up. He saw Michael let his hands fall to his side as he slowly stood.

"I had too much to drink," Alex said quickly before Michael could ask him what that was.

"That wasn't it." Michael shook his head, "If you need to talk."

"No." Alex shook his head quickly, "I'm fine really."

"I know you're not." Michael found himself saying, he was worried about Alex. "You don't smile like you used to." He told him.

"I'm not a teenager anymore." Alex muttered, "People change."

"That doesn't." Michael argued, "You don't laugh like you used to, your smile doesn't reach your eyes and when you don't think anyone is looking you look lost, haunted."

Alex shook his head, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I do." Michael told him, "I can see it's all an act, you might be able to fool Liz and Maria, but you can't fool me."

He felt his heart rate seem to pick up Michael was noticing things that his best friends hadn't noticed. "You don't know me." Alex found himself saying.

"I know." Michael told him, "You can't keep acting like everything is fine."

"You do."

"I didn't go away to war and see things." Michael didn't know what war was like, sometimes when he slept, he had dreams where he was running through streets as a child as buildings crumbled around him. He was running to someone and running away from another. Those were just dreams he imagined he had no idea what real war even was, but Alex did and the way Alex looked at his hands as if in a trance Michael had a feeling something bad happened.

"I'm fine." Alex put on what Michael would call his military face.

"Right." Michael drawled, "Because you're a Manes, it's in your blood."

Alex looked away, he was never proud of being a Manes, in fact, the only thing that brought him pride was the fact he was the black sheep of the family. "I should go home." At times he didn't know why he chose time and time again to walk away from Michael. Sitting there singing with him had been one of the moments he let himself hope and be happy, but then the panic attack happened. The memories came and reminded him that he didn't deserve to be happy. He wanted to remain the guy that Michael saw, but he wasn't that guy anymore. Michael loved someone who didn't exist not anymore. He was broken and he was damaged he didn't deserve Michael's love.

"Go ahead." Michael scoffed, "Walk away like you always do."

* * *

Almost two hours later Michael was in the room he was sharing for the night with Lyra, with all the noise he wanted to make sure she was still sleeping. He was surprised how long he stayed in there watching her sleep.

He had stood over her crib and just smiled as she slept a tiny little smile on her face, and he felt truly happy. She was his family for the first time in his life that he could remember he had a family that was all his own. Max and Isabelle always had each other while he always felt alone even when he was with them, but Lyra was part of him. He felt whole and happy he didn't care about returning to the party. He already had a few drinks in him, but drinking didn't seem to have the appeal that it did before.

A warm feeling washed over him and for a moment it was as if he wasn't in this room, he was in another and instead of looking down at his daughter he was looking up at someone. A blonde woman, a beautiful woman who made him feel safe.

Then he was back looking at Lyra, he frowned for a moment and wondered if maybe he drank more then he thought that he did. He rubbed his eyes and signed and turned from Lyra leaving the room quietly shutting the door. He planned to just get a glass of water and go to bed, Lyra would be up in a few hours so he knew he would want some sleep.

He noticed the party had ended, but as he walked past the couch, he noticed Maria was passed out. He sighed had a feeling everyone was drinking a lot tonight. It was weird being the person closest to sober he was never this person. He leaned over the couch and pulled the throw blanket over her and then he went to the kitchen to grab some water. The light was off, but Michael didn't need it he knew Max's house well enough. He opened the fridge and the light filled the room. A groan made him jump and look down at the floor behind him across from the fridge.

"Alex?" Michael asked as he took a closer look, "What are you doing on the floor?"

"Los my-" his voice was slurred and his eyes hardly opened, "Keys." He finally uttered the last word with some difficulty

"I have a feeling they might have been taken from you," Michael muttered. He looked around to see if anyone was around but the only person, he had seen was Maria and she had been passed out. He wondered if perhaps Max and Liz had gone back to his room and then quickly pushed the thought from his mind. He didn't want to think about that.

"Come on let's get you up," Michael said as he helped Alex to his feet. He helped him to a chair and sat him down. He noticed how much weight Alex had to lean on him and remembered about Alex's leg it must be hard to get around with that when he was drunk. "Drink this." He handed Alex the cup of water knowing at this point no amount of water would help the other man come morning.

Alex didn't listen he just looked at the dark doorway that lead to the living room where Maria was sleeping. "Can't escape." He whispered.

Michael looked puzzled at Alex and wanted to ask what he meant, but when he went to speak Alex's eyes closed and he began to slump sideways. Michael quickly used his powers to stop Alex from hitting the floor and then went to him, half lifting him with power half with his arms. He pulled one arm around his shoulders and Alex half-awake stumbled allowing Michael to guide him.

Max only had the one couch and Michael didn't want to just throw Alex on the floor, so he brought him to his bedroom. The bed was big enough for two and there was no way Michael was going to get Alex in a car and drive him to his house, he couldn't leave Lyra knowing that everyone else in the house was drunk. Michael slumped Alex onto the bed causing Alex to groan. Alex tried to sit up and lean reaching for his leg when he began to topple over. Michael caught him,

"Let me." Michael helped Alex lay down and then moved to take off the prosthetic leg. Michael also helped him remove his shirt and pants and then helped him put on a pair of Michael's sweat pants. "Go to sleep Private," Michael whispered.

Alex closed his eyes, but before he drifted off to sleep, "I killed her." He whispered as a tear rolled down Alex's cheek.

Michael watched Alex for a moment unsure of what he meant. He knew it wasn't worth trying to figure out what someone was trying to say when they were this drunk, but he couldn't help but think that maybe drunk Alex was trying to tell him something sober Alex never could.

Finally, he sighed and went to the other side of the bed close to where Lyra's crib was. He laid down softly and glanced over at Lyra asleep then turned his head and saw Alex lying next to him. He closed his eyes with a smile on his face as he allowed himself to drift off to sleep with thoughts of them all being a family dancing through his mind. He knew when he woke he would be thrust back into a reality where Alex never really would accept him, but at least for tonight, he could dream of a world where they could be happy with a house to call their own and maybe even a dog too.

* * *

**AN- Sorry it's taken so long. I'm officially heartbroken over the season finale but at least it is just a season finale and there is going to be a season two! **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN- Thank you for everyone who is still reading and enjoying! Here is another chapter I hope you enjoy. **

* * *

Michael was right Lyra woke up after he had been asleep only three hours when the sense came to his mind and he knew he had to wake up. Groaning Michael had gotten her out of the crib and stumbled to the kitchen. He quickly made her a bottle and then went back to the room. Sometimes he got a few more minutes to sleep while she drank her bottle lying next to him in bed. When he went back into the room, he noticed Alex was still passed out, he bet the other man would be for some time. Michael put Lyra down in the middle of the bed and then he collapsed on the free side.

He wasn't someone who liked getting up in the morning especially when he hadn't slept very long. He hoped this morning would be one of Lyra's lazy mornings he really didn't want to start the day. He wanted to stay here peacefully with Lyra and Alex he didn't want to face the real world out there.

He was just starting to fall asleep when he felt movement in the bed, but it wasn't Lyra Alex began moving in his sleep shaking his head a frown appearing on his sleeping face.

"No." Alex muttered, "No."

Before Michael could move to wake him up Lyra rolled over bottle still in her mouth and she reached out to touch Alex's shoulder that was near her. All his twitching and muttering stopped, and he seemed to find peace in whatever dream he was having.

He wondered not for the first time what type of powers Lyra had? They still knew so little about themselves that it almost scared him to not know what his daughter's future held. She didn't seem to be affected the way he Max and Isabelle were by their powers. Michael could only guess why that was. He had thought until this moment she could move things like himself, but he could have sworn she just comforted Alex somehow as if she went into his mind the way Isabelle could.

He felt a strange feeling wash over him as he watched Lyra move closer to Alex and snuggle up against him. He smiled and without thinking he moved closer to Lyra it was as if there was a magnetic pull for him to just rest a little bit closer to Alex. He closed his eyes he knew he shouldn't fall asleep, but he hadn't gotten much last night and Lyra was quiet again so it didn't take long before he drifted back to sleep. He dreamed of a family, the family he longed for. He dreamed of waking up with Alex in the cabin where Alex lived. He dreamed about the two of them sitting together on the porch as Lyra waddled around the yard with a dog. He dreamed of the three of them together.

* * *

Alex hated it here inside his own head every night he returned to this place. Every night his mind took him back to war and everything he had seen. Becoming a soldier was supposed to be the way for him to become stronger, but really, he was worse off in some ways then he used to be. Most of the time he could pretend he was fine and use his skills as an advantage sometimes he really felt like he had changed for the better, but then Michael would look at him.

When Michael looked at him, he was brought back to when he was eighteen, back to the boy he was when he fell for Michael. He wanted to feel the way he had back then. If someone asked him exactly what that feeling was, he would never be able to put it into words. The closest would be that now he felt like he was going through the motions of life, but numbly.

When he was lucky his dreams brought him back to moments in his life that he did want to see again. Moments he could say he really was happy. None of them were big moments, just little ones some were memories he had of Maria and Liz, but many of them were the stolen moments he had with Michael.

Just sitting in the bed of Michael's truck as they played music together or when they went out to the desert and stayed the night sitting by the fire, sleeping in the truck bed. Just the two of them. Falling asleep in Michael's arms and feeling happier then he thought possible. Alex wasn't even sure if those were feelings that he actually felt or just romanticized the memories, but ever since he got on the bus that took him from Roswell, he felt empty. He thought he hid it well, he had fooled everyone even himself for so long, until Michael looked at him. With one look Alex hadn't been able to fool himself anymore.

Most nights he wasn't lucky enough to be brought back to those times of happiness, more times than he wished he was brought back to the war. Especially the scene with the little girl as if it was always on repeat on his mind. He was always back in his body screaming to stop, screaming at himself not to do it, but his body moved against his will. Every time the little girl fell to the ground and he fell to his knees at her side covered in her blood and no matter how hard he tried he could never stop it, he could never save her. He could feel the heat from fires around him. Just when the scene would end in his dream it would start again.

"No." he shook his head, "No." he knew he was asleep, he knew that he need to wake up, but he couldn't. His mind would play this over and over it was too much. The heat, the screaming, the crying, the begging. The images of blood and death around him was too much.

"_Alex."_ A faint whisper seemed to break through the screaming just as it had earlier in the night. Alex looked up to see Michael standing next to him while he kneeled down, he looked away from Michael and down at the girl bleeding on the ground, but she was gone.

"_Come on."_ Michael smiled at him extending his hand to help Alex to his feet.

Alex looked at Michael's hand and as he did all the explosions and images faded away until all he saw was Michael and all he heard was Michael. He took the other man's hand and allowed him to pull him to his feet. The two began walking everything seemed to change around them, out of the war scene and into an image he knew well. His cabin.

Instead of dreaming of past memories he dreamed a real dream, he dreamed of what could be. He dreamed of sitting on the porch of his cabin with Michael by his side as Lyra ran around in the yard with a dog. He was able to settle into a sound sleep, one where he didn't toss and turn trying to outrun his past. Now he dreamed of something he would rather run to then away from.

* * *

Alex didn't want to open his eyes, he couldn't remember the last time he had been this hungover. He hoped if he just kept his eyes closed, he could keep the sick feeling at bay, but as he tried to keep his eyes closed something poked his face. He still kept his eyes closed ignoring whatever it was as he tried to recall the night before. He knew he had gone to the party Max threw for Liz, he remembered starting the night out a bit strong taking some shots that Liz and Maria convinced him to. He remembered having a good time for once just being a normal guy at a party with his friends. His mind flashed to sitting at the fire with Michael and singing again for the first time in years, he remembered feeling so free so open right there with Michael as if no time passed. Then he remembered the panic attack that took him. He remembered falling apart in Michael's arms and how Michael had been the first person that could ever pull him out of an episode. Then he remembered pulling away horrified Michael had seen that side of him and he had run away. He didn't remember much after that except that he began drinking way too much. Running away from Michael and running away from the images in his mind.

**Poke, poke. **

Slowly Alex opened his eyes as it dawned on him, he hardly remembered anything past finding Maria again and taking more shots with her. He had no idea where he was or how he had gotten there.

**Poke, Poke.**

He frowned when he realized it was a tiny finger poking his face. He blinked a few times as he tried to make sense of why there was a baby sitting next to him on a bed poking him. His mind was moving slowly so it took him longer than it should to realize it was Michael's baby poking him in the face.

When the little girl noticed his eyes were open, she gave him a little half grin with a pacifier in her mouth still. Alex lifted his head up slightly to look around the room, but let it fall back down quickly. Lifting his head was a bad idea the pounding started, and he quickly remembered why he avoided drinking, he hated the hangover. He looked back at the little girl by just rolling over and noticed sleeping just next to the child was Michael. He looked so peaceful Alex couldn't help but just watch the other man sleep.

Had Michael taken care of him last night after he drank himself into a stupor? He only hoped if Michael had talked with him last night that he hadn't said or done anything too stupid. He couldn't even remember seeing Michael after they were at the fire together.

Lyra turned to her father and crawled over on the bed and began poking his face. It only took two little pokes for Michael's eyes to open and when they did Alex couldn't help the flutter that flashed through him. God, he had missed waking up next to Michael.

"What are you doing little monkey?" Michael's voice was hoarse from sleep

Lyra giggled and jumped onto Michael and he let out a laugh as he rolled to his back scooping the child up in arms. When she stopped wiggling in his arms Michael glanced over catching Alex's eyes.

"Uh sorry." He said sitting up, "We didn't mean to wake you."

"It's alright," Alex said quietly.

"How are you feeling?" Michael asked as Lyra began climbing on him again.

Alex groaned and buried his face in the pillow.

Michael smirked, "Went a little too hard last night?"

"I don't remember," Alex said into the pillow.

Michael sat up and grinned over at Alex, "I assumed as much when I found you on the kitchen floor."

Alex slowly looked back at Michael, "Did we-" he paused, "uh."

"No." Michael's grin fell away, "Lyra was in the room for one and two I wouldn't with you that drunk." He pushed the blanket aside and stood up taking Lyra in his arms.

"And does anyone-" Alex almost felt bad for asking if anyone knew he was in here with Michael. He knew none of his friends cared that he was gay, but he couldn't bring himself to admitting to them that Michael was the guy from the museum.

"Last I saw everyone else was still passed out." He told him knowing right away what Alex meant. "I've got to go make something to eat," Michael muttered and left the room.

* * *

In the kitchen, Michael placed Lyra on the floor with some of her toys and began making some breakfast. He felt stupid for allowing his mind to dream of any future with Alex in it. Alex was and would always be ashamed of him. He knew it had nothing to do with the fact he was a guy, Alex wasn't ashamed of being gay. No. Alex was ashamed of Michael of the fact they had ever been together. And it crushed him to know that was how Alex felt about him. Being with Alex had been the only part of his teenage years he could look back on and think that being here on this planet wasn't so bad. Those years he had really thought he could do something with his life, that he and Alex could be something great, but now Alex only saw him as the screw-up. The Townie that should have done something with his life but stayed back and screwed his life up. Nothing he would ever do would be good enough for someone like Alex. The best someone like himself could hope for was some meaningless sex with strangers.

He cooked without thinking, making some scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. He wasn't really hungry, but this gave him an excuse to walk away to hide his hurt. He didn't want Alex to see how his few little words hurt him, he didn't want anyone to see that they could affect him. He was supposed to be the guy who did what he wanted when he wanted without a care in the world for what anyone else thought. But in truth he cared what others thought of him, he cared what Max thought and most of all he cared what Alex thought of him. And Alex thought he was a criminal, nothing more. He would always be someone Alex would be ashamed of.

"Smells good." Max's voice interrupted Michael's thoughts, "What are you cooking for an army?"

"huh?" Michael asked frowning, Max gestured to all the food he had made, "Oh well I assumed after last night everyone would need some food in their system." He lied, in all reality, his hands had just moved and he had kept cooking as his mind raced away with itself.

"Yum." Liz said as she sat down at one of the counter stools stealing a piece of bacon and eating it quickly, "Who would have thought you were a good cook Guerin?"

"It's bacon." Michael told her, "Kind of hard to mess that up."

"You'd be surprised." She told him as she took another.

"Ugh." Maria stumbled into the kitchen, "Why are you guys talking so loud?"

"Hello, Sleeping Beauty." Liz laughed, "How much did you drink last night?"

"I tried to keep up with Alex." Maria closed her eyes, "God that boy can drink."

Liz glanced around, "Did he end up driving last night?"

"I took his keys." Max said, "so I doubt it."

"What made Alex drink so much?" Maria groaned, "I've never known him to drink like that."

"War," Michael muttered but it was too low for anyone to hear as he finished up the food.

"Who knew you could cook Guerin?" Maria sitting down

"That's what I said!" Liz grinned

"He's pretty good." Max said as he sat down as well, "At least when he does cook which is rare, what made you start cooking?"

"I had a feeling everyone in this house was going to be hung over." That wasn't a whole lie. Even though he had wanted to get out of the room away from Alex he still knew Alex needed to eat. But he also knew in a house full of people if he only made Alex food questions would be asked, questions Alex didn't want to answer.

Michael glanced over at Max and Liz who were now sitting next to each other smiling at one another so much so he wanted to roll his eyes, but at the same time he found himself wishing that he could be sitting at the table grinning stupid smiles at Alex in front of all their friends while Alex grinned back at him. He knew that would never happen, Alex would never look at him like that, at least not in front of people.

Michael bent down and picked up Lyra and placed her in her highchair. He pulled it up to the table and sat down next to her he began feeding her little pieces of eggs and fruit while Max and Liz talked and grinned at each other. Maria was eating and still looking like she would much rather go back to sleep. Lyra was wiggling around and being difficult about letting the spoon in her mouth when Alex slowly walked into the kitchen.

"There you are." Liz smiled at him, "We were wondering where you got off too."

"Ugh," Alex said sitting down in the only open chair across from Michael.

"Eat up." Maria said, "Guerin cooked us all up breakfast so we can get over these hangovers."

Alex glanced over at Michael, "You made all this?"

"It's just eggs, bacon, and toast," Michael said glancing at him quickly then back at Lyra.

"There is fruit also," Maria told him

"I didn't make the fruit I only cut it up." He muttered, "and that was meant for Lyra."

"So grumpy." Maria said as she ate some toast, but then she turned her attention to Alex. "So, I admit I can't keep up with you."

"I can't keep up with me," Alex muttered as he took a small bite of bacon.

"Since when do you drink like that?" Liz asked, "You drank Maria here under the table."

"I drank myself under the table." His voice was hoarse as he spoke.

"Under the counter." Michael smirked, "that's where I found you."

"You found him?" Maria asked

"I came to get a glass of water and he was half passed out on the floor." Lyra turned her head away from her eggs. "Come on little miss." Michael grinned at her, "Open up I know you're hungry."

"You are good with her," Alex said watching them

"It's not very hard." Michael glanced at him for a moment then back at Lyra.

"It's not for the faint of heart." Alex told him, "A few of my buddies had kids and most relied heavily on their wives to take care of the kids."

Michael shrugged and went back to feeing Lyra before he muttered, "She's an easy baby."

Max snorted which caused Michael to glare at him,

"What?" Max laughed, "She has your temper."

"I don't have a temper."

With that everyone at the table let out a laugh.

"Sure, you don't." Maria shook her head, "All the stuff you've broken over the years at my bar is because you are very even-tempered."

Michael rolled his eyes and turned back to Lyra who still refused to open her mouth.

"Stubborn like you too," Alex added smiling at the baby.

"I'm not that stubborn," Michael said as he smirked over at Alex.

"Sure, you aren't," Alex said back and for a moment their eyes locked.

Michael didn't want to look away from Alex he saw the kind playful smile on Alex's face and couldn't help but smile back. He both loved and hated the way Alex made him feel. He couldn't fight the thought that came to his mind. He wanted this, sitting at a table eating breakfast with Alex and Lyra. He wanted every morning to be like this.

Liz watched Michael and Alex smile at each other and for a moment she wondered if they even remembered anyone was at the table. She glanced over at Maria who seemed focused on her food still looking as if she wanted to crawl back into bed. She turned to look at Max who seemed to be watching Alex and Michael as well, she saw a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. He seemed to sense she was looking at him and when their eyes met she flicked them to the other two men at the table quickly then back at Max as if to ask _'What was going on?'_ but Max just shrugged, either he didn't know or he wasn't talking.

Michael cleared his throat pulling himself from his own wants. He wanted things he couldn't have. He couldn't have mornings like this, not with Alex not with any human. He had Lyra and that was all he needed. Standing up he sighed,

"I should get Lyra dressed for the day and head home." He picked her up out of the high chair and walked out of the room quickly. Crushing the feelings deep within him, the hope he had that he could be with Alex one day, and the crushing defeat knowing that it would never happen. Alex wasn't his future, only his past.

* * *

Alex tossed his keys onto the table in the kitchen. All he wanted to do now was get in the shower and go to sleep for the rest of the day. He sometimes fought sleep because when he slept that was when he saw the faces of war the most. Faces and dreams he couldn't escape from, except last night. He thought back to his dreams and how they had started as nightmares, and then some unknown force seemed to chase them from his mind. He smiled to himself thinking about how the dream he had of Michael extending his hand and helping him to his feet. Michael was never going to his first love that much Alex knew. He wished he could just push past his own issues and let himself be who he wanted to be, with who he wanted to be. But he knew enough to know he couldn't be by Michael's side not now, not when he was so broken. Michael didn't need the broken version of himself.

He didn't want to sleep even though he felt awful. He thought about the things his father had said about Michael. He had written off everything his father said thinking that his father was just trying to make Michael out to be a terrorist because of their relationship. But last night, the dream he had was different than any other. He thought harder before he fell asleep before he got drunk when Michael had been playing the guitar. It should have been impossible he remembered Michael's hand being crushed, the remembered seeing the scars recently, him wincing even at the bar when he tried to pick up his drink. There was no way he could have played that song as long and as well as he had. He closed his eyes and thought back to that moment Michael playing it had been dark but there was some light from the fire. The only reason his mind was able to recall his memory so well was because of his military training. He saw Michael sitting before him a smile on his face, Alex could feel the swell of happiness inside of him knowing that Michael's smile was meant for him in that moment. If he hadn't been so happy to see Michael smiling at him maybe he would have noticed what he could see now in his memory. As he recalled singing, he could now see a few moments that Michael's hands hadn't moved or they moved to slow, but sound still came out of the guitar, the strings still moved. He opened his eyes as he felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

He grabbed his keys and got in his car; he wasn't sure where he was planning to go. He thought for a moment he would go to Michael, but he found himself driving to his father's bunker. Within an hour he was typing away at his father's computer. He scanned every bit of information his father compiled. He had thought Aliens weren't real and that his dad was just as crazy as half the people in this town.

He read through reports talking about Alien powers, controlling things with their minds, objects, people, animals. Powers that could make people sick, blow things up, killers, murders.

Finally, he settled onto Michael's picture that was in the file. There was no information on him other than that fact he was suspected to be one. He leaned back in his chair and just looked at Michael's picture. Could he really be an alien? Could he really have powers as his father talked about? He knew Michael had a temper, but he never thought Michael was a killer or that he had would never hurt him. He thought of his father hurting Michael and the fact Michael never fought back. If Michael was a killer Alien-like his father seemed to think wouldn't he have hurt him by now? He had so many chances.

Michael's smile flashed into his mind as he looked at Lyra, his daughter, his little girl. When he thought of Michael and that baby, he only saw a man who would do anything for his kid. He thought of Michael helping him to bed last night, of waking up with Michael and Lyra sleeping next to him. He thought of the breakfast Michael made everyone. The man Alex knew didn't fit the description his father had of Aliens. He wasn't sure if that meant Michael wasn't an Alien or if his father was wrong. That perhaps it wasn't unreasonable to think his father hated anyone who was different than him.

"I know you don't like me." Kyle's voice interrupted his thoughts, "and that's cool." He closed a locker, "But all this is a lot, if you ever want to 0800 solider jargon, we can get a beer we can-"

"Dad listed Guerin and his friends as threats." He found himself saying, not even caring that Kyle had snuck up on him or asking why Kyle was here. "I didn't want to believe it." He looked over at Kyle shaking his head.

"Max, Guerin, and Isabelle have done things I can't really forgive. But they're kids we grew up with. You know?" Kyle stepped closer and glanced at the computer screen that has Michael's picture listed that he was a terrorist, "They're not that." Kyle sighed, "If you care about him as much as it looks like you do then talk to him."

He felt emotions flare up in him he hadn't felt in a long time. He spent so many years feeling nothing that he wasn't sure what to do with the emotions that seemed to be unlocked when Michael walked back into his life. "I just can't go in blind." He said not looking away from the computer.

"I'm talking about a conversation, Manes, not a war." Kyle patted him on the shoulder and left.

* * *

It was late when Michael finally got Lyra to sleep. He had spent most of the morning at Max's, but when he felt like had to get away from his feeling for Alex he had gone back to his trailer with Lyra. He worked on one of the trucks he had in and then spent the day playing his Lyra. She hadn't wanted to sleep when it was bedtime and it was always hard to get her to do anything when she didn't want to. As she got older, she seemed to get more opinions and when she got angry things began to fly. He didn't think she could control herself or her powers, but it often left a big mess for him to clean up.

He had just finished cleaning up when he heard a car pulling up. He glanced out the window of his trailer and frowned he couldn't make out who was there as the figure stepped out of the car. As the figure moved closer, he could tell it was a man he blinked a few times and then the headlights timed out and turned off. He could see who it was now, and he instantly felt his heart rate pick up. Alex.

Michael glanced at Lyra who was still asleep, so he silently moved to the door and went outside to meet Alex.

"What are you doing here?"

"I-"Alex started he looked away.

"What?" Michael asked

Alex didn't know how to ask him what he really wanted, "There's uh a rattle in my car."

"Want me to look at it?" Michael asked still unsure exactly what Alex wanted. He had only recently fixed that car and knew nothing was wrong with it.

"You know what it's not-"Alex turned to leave.

Michael scoffed and shook his head, even though he was mad at Alex he had somehow allowed himself to hope again that maybe Alex was here to see him. Michael turned to go back inside.

Alex froze as he reached his car his hand on the door, "No." he felt himself saying as he turned back to Michael, "I'm tired of walking away." He paused when Michael turned to look at him annoyance on his face, "I'm tired of not saying what I want to say."

"What do you want to say, Alex?" Michael almost yelled raising his hands up forgetting he had only just gotten Lyra to sleep.

"That I loved you." Alex saw Michael soften as if anger seemed to leave him, he could almost see the boy he had once been, "And I think that you loved me." He paused the look changed onto Michael's face, a look closer to sadness. "For a long time."

Michael looked away, "Yeah."

"But we didn't even know each other that well." Alex tried to argue "Did we?" Alex tried to puzzle through what he felt for Michael ever since he had left town and even now, he never knew what exactly they had that he could never find with anyone else. "we-we connected like something-"

"Cosmic." Michael finished

"Yeah but we didn't even do that much talking!" he argued. They had always talked of their dreams and what future they imagined for themselves, but never once did Michael tell Alex about himself, his family, who or what he really was, "And I want to talk." He shook his head, "I want to start over, I want to… I don't know be friends I-" he sighed and looked up meeting Michael's eyes, "I want to know who you are Guerin."

Something changed in the way Michael was looking at him as if just meeting eyes Michael really knew what he was asking, what he was saying.

Michael had wondered what this would be like, being confronted by someone. He had thought many times in their past about telling him. And even recently he had let himself imagine what could have been if things were different between them. He imagined what it could be like to be with Alex the way Max was with Liz. He had let himself think that he could be with Alex and Alex would know the whole truth and accept him the way Liz did. He had wanted this even though he had told himself he didn't.

Fear also filled him along with the small bit of hope that Alex was coming to him because he didn't care what he was. He feared that Alex was coming here because he was part of the military, the fear wasn't for himself but for Lyra. What if Alex came to take him in? What if Alex was really his father's son?

Finally, Michael sighed as he stepped closer to Alex, "You want to know who I am?" he asked, "Or do you want to know what I am?"

Alex's eyes were locked on Michael's and just his last sentence was enough to confirm what his father's research had told him. Michael really was an Alien. All this time and he had never noticed, never seen. But there wasn't a killer monster looking at him now like his father described. This was a man that Alex loved a man who looked like a kicked puppy who had nowhere else to go and knew he was defeated.

"Yes," Alex told him.

* * *

Michael had started a fire in the pit as he and Alex talked, Michael told him what he was, what he could do. He told him about Max and Isabelle just about everything he knew. He didn't mention that they thought Isabelle could be a killer.

"You ok?" Michael asked, "I can erase your mind if you regret what you know now."

"What?" Alex asked in disbelief, "You can do that?"

"No, but that would be pretty cool if I could," Michael smirked Alex gave him a half-hearted glare. Michael held up his hands, "Look, ask whatever you want."

"So, the three of you were found together, but only Max and Isabelle were adopted separately. Why?"

"I just told you I survived a UFO crash. I gestated in a pod for half a century then I hatched." He was puzzled this wasn't what he expected Alex to focus on, "And you want to know about my family problems."

"Look I've kind of known about this Alien thing for a while, I just didn't realize you were-" he sighed, "I just want to know you."

Michael just looked at him for a moment and then down. He hadn't expected this to go like this in a few brief moments he had let himself perhaps hope this would happen one day. He expected confusion, some kind of fear of what he was, but Alex was acting like this was normal. That he was normal as if he was just trying to get to know someone. To really know them. So, he thought instead of being defensive he should actually just talk to Alex, "The Evenes came into the group home one day." He looked down not meeting Alex's eyes, "To adopt one kid." He then looked up, "And they adopted two. They're good people. Maybe I just smelled like trouble."

Alex saw it then, what Michael always tried to hide his insecurity of never being wanted, not being good enough to love. He wanted nothing more than to go to the other man and wrap him in his arms, to promise that Michael would always be his first choice, but he didn't.

"Where'd you go after that?" he asked

"The system. I bounced around for a while first a couple angry meth heads, then a violent drunk." Alex looked away for a moment as he remembered his father saying how it was the Aliens who were dangerous, but were humans much better? "I was eleven when I got sent back to Roswell a fundamentalist religious freak. It did bring me back to Max and Isabelle. I was really relieved that they had an easier time."

Alex could see the boy now fully who he had fallen in love with in high school. Michael's eyes were kind and soft. Alex could see the shell that Michael had around himself fall away. He pretended like he didn't care, that he didn't love anyone around him when really sometimes he cared too much. Alex stood up without thinking and walked over to Michael and before Michael could move Alex's lips found his.

Michael wasn't sure what he expected telling Alex what he was, but this was not like anything he imagined. He pulled Alex down onto his lap, so the other man straddled him. The two men couldn't get enough of each other. They fought time and time again against this against what they really wanted. Finally, they broke away gasping for air and Michael began shaking his head. "Alex I can't."

"Can't what?" Alex asked his forehead resting on Michael's

"I love you." Michael whispered, "But I have to think of Lyra I can't have you in and out of her life."

"I don't want to be out of your life." Alex told him. "I want to be in your life and hers. When I dream of my future, I see you and her."

Michael smiled he had wanted to hear that for as long as he could remember. He brought his lips to Alex's again and the two began making out again. Michael didn't want to stop he didn't want to let this moment go. They were so focused on each other they didn't notice a car pull up and a couple get out.

A clearing throat caused them to break the kiss. Michael looked at where the noise came from and Alex turned his head both saw Liz and Max smiling at them.

"Uh." Max said, "We came to talk about Iz." He had walked in on Michael many times hooking up with someone, but this was different this was something he knew Michael wanted, this was something he knew Alex wanted to hide. "She's uh back from rehab."

"You figured out how to heal her?" Michael asked Liz.

"Uh, I-" She glanced over at Alex.

Michael sighed, "He uh, he knows."

"He knows?" Max asked.

"You said I could tell him."

"You said you weren't going to." Max thought of when Michael told him he didn't think Alex would be ok with all of this, but here Alex was sitting with on Michael's lap kissing him.

"He knows?" Liz repeated Max's question.

"You know?" Alex asked her. "How did you figure it out."

"He brought me back from being shot, that first day I was back when the diner got shot at," Liz told Alex.

"You said you didn't get hurt." Alex felt worry fill him, had she really almost died? Then he glanced at Max, "You guys can heal?"

"He can." Michael told him, "like I said we all have different powers."

"So." Liz smirked, "This is museum guy. The one you said you would never leave Roswell if he kept kissing you?"

Michael wondered if maybe Alex would pull away, but he didn't instead he saw a blush flash across his face.

"Yes." Alex told her then turned and looked back at Michael, "He is."

* * *

**AN- So I've had this chapter sitting around for a few weeks on my computer and I'm not in love with it, so I was going back and forth whether to post it or not. I've decided to post it, but I'm still not in love with it. Let me know what you guys think. I have so many ideas on where I want this story to go, but I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to get it there yet. **


	6. Chapter 6

**AN- I've had this written for a while and I keep going back and adding more, and then not liking something and changing things. I'm not sure how I really feel about this one overall, but I felt like I need to post something. It kind of starts as a flash back and goes through some of Alex's past as it moves on. The events that led him back to Roswell. **

* * *

Alex put the keys into the lock, but before he turned them, he let out a sigh. The drive into the City was long traffic had been worse than usual but with it being the holiday season that was to be expected. He knew he should be over the moon to return here after spending the last few months overseas, but here he was hesitating at the door.

He opened the door the room was dark, but he wasn't surprised when the lights flew on and people yelled 'surprise.' He pushed past the part of him that wanted to turn away, overseas when there was a flash of light and loud noises it wasn't a good thing, but these people were his friends they were doing something they thought was good. He didn't want to let them down.

"Babe!" Lucas, Alex's boyfriend emerged from the crowd, "I missed you." he leaned forward and kissed him.

"I missed you too." He forced himself to smile, "You didn't have to do all this." Alex didn't like being the center of attention like this he wished Lucas could understand that. But Lucas loved parties he loved having people over he loved planning things. He loved Alex.

And so, he smiled through the whole night with Lucas's group of friends. They were Alex's friends as well, but not friends like he once had in high school. They were couple friends; everyone was either married or on their way to getting married. It was simply what everyone in the group seemed to be doing. A few were even talking about having children and building lives together. Alex still found it hard to think of a future he hadn't even expected to be in a relationship and somehow, he and Lucas had turned into one. When Alex visited for the weekend from West Point, they often went to dinner parties and events for all of Lucas's friends that had turned into Alex's friends.

He smiled when he knew he should he laughed at jokes that he knew should be funny, he pretended he was enjoying himself when really, he just wanted to steal away to the bedroom, to the quiet and leave the crowd. He had to keep pushing down the overwhelming urge to get away from the noise and the crowd he tried to ignore the pressure in his chest that seemed to be happening more and more these days whenever he was in large crowds so when he saw his chance to escape to the balcony he took it.

Sliding outside was easy the others had wine inside and were all locked in conversation about an upcoming wedding. He didn't bother grabbing his coat he already felt warm from the crowd inside the apartment. Leaning on the balcony railing he couldn't understand why he wasn't happy. Any guy should feel lucky that to have this life, a boyfriend that loved him enough to throw this party to want to celebrate his home coming. Yet he thought that it might have been nice to only be the two of them, perhaps only a friend or two, but not this crowd of people. This wasn't what he wanted. He turned around and looked through the sliding glass window back into the apartment he saw Lucas laughing and wished his heart would do what it used to back in high school.

He closed his eyes and thought about what it felt like to be in love when he was a kid. Back when just the sight of the one he loved made him feel like he was floating. He couldn't wait until the next moment they were near each other. Alex saw another smile, heard another laugh in his mind and when he opened his eyes brought back to the moment, he felt himself longing for a different place a different time. A different guy. But that made even less sense, thinking of him after all these years. What they had was confusing and had been so short how could nothing in his life since hold a candle to it? Alex had felt something so strong back then, something he hadn't felt since. He tried telling himself that was just feelings a kid imagined, that he was an adult now. No one loved like that in real life.

"Alex?" Lucas stepped out onto the balcony, "What are you doing out here? It's freezing." He pulled his jacket around him.

"Just needed fresh air." He glanced over at Lucas and wished that he could feel the type of love he had once believed in.

"Babe I can tell something is wrong." Lucas stepped closer and wrapped his fingers in the collar of Alex's shirt and smiled, "This was your last tour and once you're out of the air force we can finally start our life together." Alex tried not to meet Lucas's eyes and Lucas noticed, "Alex?" he frowned taking a step back.

He sighed, "They need me to do one more." He said softly.

"But you said- "

"I know what I said." Alex shook his head, "But I don't get to choose they say one more I do one more."

Lucas glanced away for a moment a flash of sadness washed across his face before he put on a smile and looked back at Alex, "So one more." He stepped closer, "And then we live happily ever after."

Alex wanted to say there was no such thing as a happy ended he wanted to say that if Lucas wanted that kind of love story that maybe they shouldn't be together, but he couldn't bring himself to say those words. Instead he nodded his head and agreed and a part of him wished just once that Lucas could challenge him and not just agree. He knew Lucas didn't always agree with him but never said, he seemed afraid to argue afraid that if he did Alex would walk away.

"At least I see now why you seem so melancholy and distracted." Lucas kissed Alex and then rested his head on his forehead.

"Sorry I know how much you put into this." Alex told him.

"Don't be sorry, it's hard to be happy when you know you have to go back over there." Lucas told him, "I'll send everyone home. Next time it will be for real."

* * *

The first memory Alex had after waking up in the hospital was pain. Then a few memories came to his mind of being overseas. Alex could almost remember everything leading to the moment that changed his life. He remembered feeling tired and drained, in a way broken from what his unit had done the day before. Up until the day before he really foolishly believed that there was a clear good guy and bad guy and that they were the good guys, but he couldn't get the image of that little girl out of his mind. He rubbed his eyes as if that could chase the sleep away.

"Tired Manes?" one of the men in the unit asked stepping up beside him.

"Always." Alex smirked, "At least as long as we're here."

"Tell me about it." The man, Aaden leaned on the wall next to Alex and pulled a picture out of his pocket, "I'm counting down the days until I'm home with them."

Alex glanced over at the picture to see a beautiful woman holding a baby, "If I had her waiting for me, I'd count down the days also." Alex wasn't ashamed of the fact he was gay, but in the military, it was don't ask don't tell. That was why he would drive all the way to the city to see Lucas.

"Lair." Aaden grinned then he glanced around him to see no one was around, "You don't have to pretend with me." His voice was low, "I know."

"Know what?" Alex frowned

"I have a brother who is gay." Aaden told him, "That stuff never bothered me." Then Aaden grinned again, "He thinks you're cute by the way."

Alex just stared at him blinking for a moment ready to deny it, but he was leaving the military soon and it was nice to not have to pretend in front of someone. "Well I have someone back home waiting for me." Alex had thought he meant Lucas, but in that moment a different face flashed into his mind a face he often tried to forget but never really could.

"And what is this person like?" Aaden asked.

Again, Alex meant to talk about Lucas, but words came out of his mouth describing someone he hadn't seen in years, the person he wished really was home waiting for him, "Not afraid of anything, made me believe anything was possible." He smiled, "Someone who stood up to my dad without a hint of fear." He remembered what that cost Michael and how Michael still didn't want to leave his side.

"See then you're lying." Aaden told him

Alex for a moment felt his heart drop, how could Aaden possibly know he wasn't talking about his actual current boyfriend.

"If you have someone like that waiting for you, what would you want with my wife?" he joked

Alex smiled, "Ah you caught me."

"Manes, Argent." The leader of the squad walked up to them the other men in the unit, "Load up we are getting ready to move out."

"Yes sir." They both said together. The other men began walking away. Aaden moved to follow, but Alex stopped as he thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye. The others including Aaden got farther away, but still Alex tried to have his eyes focus on who he saw. It was hot out and the sun was beating down on them it wasn't unusual for one's mind to play a trick.

"Michael." He whispered as he realized who he was seeing. It was Michael, but he was older than the last time he had seen him. Michael's image was clear as if he really was standing there his mouth was moving as if he was trying to say something, he looked just as confused as Alex felt.

"Manes!" Aaden called out from the Humvee, "Let's go!"

Alex turned away from Michael and looked to Aaden then back to Michael to see the image was gone. Alex sighed, perhaps he was losing it after yesterday. He looked back at Aaden who was jogging back over to him, but only saw him for a moment because there was a loud noise with a bright light, and he was falling to the ground. Pain erupted through his leg and his whole body. When he was able to somewhat gain his senses, he saw that the Humvee was nothing more than a shell on fire and all the men inside gone. He heard a groan and saw Aaden on fire. He didn't know how he found the strength, but he stood up, his body was nothing, but pain and the worst was his leg, but he forced himself forward to Aaden and threw himself down next to him and quickly patted out the fire. Aaden was on his back his

"Manes." He grunted through pain, "Behind you."

Alex saw insurgents closing in.

"Get out of here." Aaden grunted.

"Not without you." Alex grabbed his gun and forced himself to stand the pain was worse than he had ever felt, but he wasn't going to leave Aaden here. He hated killing, but he had to, so he raised his gun and began to fire. He got three of the men he turned but the pain in his leg caused him to stumble and a new pain erupted in his shoulder after the sound of a gunshot that almost caused him to drop his gun. Then the man who shot him fell to the ground Alex glanced behind him to see Aaden had sat up enough to fire a gun but had fallen back down. Alex glanced around quickly to see if anymore enemies were coming but he saw none.

"I'm going to get you out of here." Alex said leaning down and tried to get Aaden up.

Aaden groaned, "Leave me more will come, get out of here."

"I'm not leaving you." Alex told him, "Get up. You have to make it home to your wife and daughter."

"I can't walk." Aaden grunted.

"Then I'll carry you." Alex grunted as he took a hold of Aaden and pulled him up. Aaden yelled out in pain put tried his best to hold as much of his own weight as he could as he leaned on Alex. He wasn't sure how long they wandered. Alex pushed away the pain in his leg he just knew he had to keep going. He knew his shoulder was bleeding and he had no idea what kind of damage was done to his leg, but he knew he was losing a lot of blood, but he kept pushing forward half dragging Aaden with him. He had to get Aaden home so that he could return to his family. His wife and his baby. In the distance sometimes he thought he saw Michael off standing in the sand like he once had years ago leading Alex to his favorite spot. Just far enough to keep Alex walking.

"What do you see?" Aaden said weakly next to him.

"Home." Alex heard himself say, he couldn't stop himself he smiled. "Michael."

"The guy you've got waiting back home?" Aaden asked.

"No." Alex told him, "The guy that should be waiting home." He stumbled and Aaden groaned in pain.

"Manes you can't keep this up." Aaden whispered, "Leave me. Make it home and go find him."

"I told you I'm not leaving you." Alex grunted, "Plus he wouldn't want me showing back up."

"Why not?" Aaden asked.

"Because I left." Alex told him, "Everyone always left him, I wanted to be the person that didn't."

"It's never too late to be that person." Aaden told him. Alex stumbled again he wasn't sure how long they had been walking but the pain in his leg made him feel sick. The sun had set once and already rose again, but he wasn't sure for how long. All he knew was it was hot, and he wanted nothing more to stop, but he feared if he did, he wouldn't be able to get moving again. "You can't keep this up." Aaden said again.

Alex ignored him and continued on one foot in front of the other. "It's not going to happen so stop telling me to." He wanted to say more, but movement caught his eye that caused him to freeze he knew he and Aaden didn't have what it would take to fight their way out of a situation again. "Aaden." He said softly, but he saw the other man was already looking. "I didn't realize we were on a road." He knew he should have noticed, but he was starting to find it hard to simply sort out any thoughts he was losing to much blood, he was in too much pain.

"It's alright." Aaden smiled, "It's a Humvee." He groaned in pain. "One of ours."

Alex smiled and stumbled again when he put weight on his leg this time, he didn't catch himself. He and Aaden fell to the ground as the Humvee came to a stop. He could hear people talking calling out to him. He could hear Aaden's voice telling everyone what happened, but Alex couldn't focus not anymore. Only moments ago, he had felt so hot, but now he was so cold. He closed his eyes. The last thing he heard was Aaden shouting his name.

There was nothing but darkness. Darkness and pain was all he knew, he had no idea how long he was locked within. Perhaps this was what dying felt like, what it was.

"_Don't give up." _he heard a voice after so long in the darkness. Time didn't seem to work the same within this dark place. He wasn't sure how long or how many different times he heard the voice calling out to him, _"Alex."_ The voice always sounded far away until he began to see something, someone.

It was the moment he thought it would be easier to let go to allow himself to slip into the darkness to become one with it and stop fighting. He was so tired so alone.

"_You are not alone."_ He felt something touch him, he looked at his arm and saw a hand on his arm. He followed the hand to an arm and then to a body and finally a face. His face. Michael. _"You are never alone."_

"I am." Alex felt weak he knew if Michael wasn't holding him, he would disappear. "Ever since I left you."

"_I'm here now." _Michael told him, _"Come back."_

Michael's words were enough to keep him fighting. There was something about Michael that always seemed to wake him up, unlock a fight in him a will to continue on. Just like in high school when Michael had inspired him to sing and do what made him happy. Michael had been by his side helping him, pushing him.

Sometimes it wasn't the sound of Michael's voice, but instead it was like he was watching a television of his memories, just the two of them.

They were laying in the back of Michael's truck looking up at the stars. At night when they were far from town Alex noticed how much Michael looked to them as if in awe of the sky. There seemed to be a peace about the other man when he was looking up there as if he was searching for something.

"What are you looking for?" Alex asked as he watched Michael.

"Answers." Michael said softly

"You think you will find that in the stars?" Alex glanced up to the sky, other than being a beautiful view he couldn't understand how it could captivate Michael for hours.

"You've never thought of going up there?" he asked.

"To the stars?" Alex asked.

"To fly away from here." Michael told him, but then he seemed to pull himself from his thoughts and rolled from his back to his stomach and looked down at Alex, "or we could get in this truck and drive away, far from here."

Alex smiled, "Just the two of us."

"Just us against the world." Michael whispered as he leaned down and kissed him.

When he finally did open his eyes, he whispered Michael's name and for a moment he had thought it was Michael sitting by his bed side. He smiled and reached out to touch his hand, but when his eyes focused and his mind wrapped around the image before him, he realized it was Lucas sitting at his side.

Alex knew he should have been happy but for the first time in years he finally felt something. He felt his heart breaking all over again. He learned he had been in a coma for five months. His mind had flashed through memories and dreams he had of Michael during that time and somehow, he had thought that Michael would be there, but he wasn't.

He wasn't sure if Lucas heard him whisper Michael's name, but if he did, he never showed that he had. Lucas stood by his side through his recovery, took him home and took care of him for a year. Alex tried he tried to be happy, he even proposed to Lucas and promised that they would walk down the aisle together once he learned how to walk with his prosthetic.

Aaden had survived too, he hadn't fallen into a coma, he had been released from the hospital, but he and his wife came to visit him. He enjoyed them coming sometimes more than Lucas. They made him laugh and smile, the girl reminded him of Maria and he was happy Aaden made it home to the person he loved.

Thinking of marrying Lucas didn't bring the joy it should have, if anything he felt numb to everything.

The day of the wedding came, Alex had told Lucas there was no one in his past he cared to invite so it was just Lucas's family and their friends in New York. Thinking back Alex knew it was because if he had talked to Maria and Liz, he wouldn't have gone through with planning a wedding. That morning Alex had every intention of marrying the man that had stood by his side through his recovery but sitting in the limo outside the venue he couldn't stop the memories of sitting in the back of Michael's truck playing music together and the feeling he had back then. The feeling of home, it wasn't the place or even the truck, but it had been Michael. He remembered feeling like he was drowning as he told the limo driver to go and take him away from the wedding. He had the limo drive him to Lucas's apartment where he quickly packed his stuff and left.

He knew the way he did it was wrong, in truth he should have been honest with Lucas from the start, but he hadn't even been able to be honest with himself. When he got back to base, he ignored calls from Lucas he even ignored Aaden's and quickly jumped on the next transfer he could. When he saw his orders, he really hadn't thought it would bring him back to Michael. He had purposely never checked up on his lost love, but he did honestly believe Michael had left after high school for his scholarship.

He had lived life going through the motions, until he was standing outside Michael's airstream and the two locked eyes and Michael touched him. It was as if someone took paddles and shocked him back to life. For the first time he felt like his heart was beating again and all the feelings of the past he had thought were fabricated by a kid came rushing back. He fought it time and time again as he struggled with his own demons, but somehow Michael always seemed to get through.

And now here they were wrapped in each other's arms. Alex watched Michael sleep and wondered if this could really be there life. Could they really stop fighting what they felt? Or rather could he stop fighting it and allow himself to have this? To have Michael. It didn't matter to him what Michael was because Michael had showed him who he was. Everything he felt in this moment was what was missing from his life all those years he spent with Lucas.

* * *

"You sure you want to do this?" Michael asked as they got out of Alex's jeep. Michael closed the driver side door and moved to the back opening the door and unbuckling Lyra from her seat and placing her on his hip before grabbing a diaper bag and closing the car door.

"Yes." Alex said walking over to him and taking his hand in his.

Michael grinned he normally would make fun of couples that acted like this. Any show he watched or listened to Iz talk about love he often said everything was fake, but here he was with Alex and no matter what he couldn't fight the stupid grin that spread over his face very time Alex looked or talked to him. There was something powerful about Alex not pulling away from him when they were in public. "Alright, but there is no going back from here." They were outside the Crash Down during one of its busiest times of the day people were going to see them.

"I don't want to go back." Alex told him, "I never want to go back to before you and I were together."

Definitely a line Michael would normally make fun of, but instead it made a part of him feel all soft and warm. He smiled, "Good." Then the two moved forward and walked into the diner together.

Walking inside was normal at first no one seemed to notice. Michael saw a few guys hung over that he usual saw at the bar were eating breakfast they were guys he wouldn't exactly call friends, but they had all drunk together at the bar and took bets on who could get what girls.

"I'll grab a high chair." Alex said as he let go of Michael's hand as he headed off to where the high chairs were kept. As Michael slid into one of the free booths, he saw Liz give Alex the type of grin only a friend who is happy for their friend could give. When Alex returned Michael handed Lyra to Alex and let him sit her into the chair.

"So." Alex said sliding into the booth, "What's next?"

"Next?" Michael asked, "We order something to eat."

"You know that isn't what I'm asking." Alex told him.

"What are you asking?" Michael handed Lyra some of her toys that she started banging against the tray of the high chair.

"Just that last night was tight at your place." Alex wasn't sure if he should even be talking about a future with Michael. Even though he had loved the other man all these years, they had only just gotten back together. "And I was thinking maybe you could, or we could stay at my place."

Michael looked up, "Lyra doesn't have anything at your house."

"She could." Alex said, "I mean it's a two bedroom and we can set up one room for her when she stays, I mean it wouldn't be like-" He stumbled over his words, "I'm not asking you to move in. I just, I mean I'm not using the room it wouldn't be hard to fill it with things for her."

Michael grinned, "Alex, you're rambling."

"Sorry." Alex gave a soft nervous smile.

"We could do that; we would have more space." He lowered his voice, "We could have more time just the two of us."

That brought a smile to Alex's face. The airstream was just one room all he and Michael did was cuddle due to the fact Lyra was sleeping right near them. "I'd like that."

* * *

Maria watched Alex and Michael leave after they finished eating. She had no idea they were friends. What surprised her the most was when she watched through the window Alex step closer to Michael and the two kissed quickly before getting into the car.

"How long has that been going on?" Maria asked turning to Liz.

"What?" she asked

"You didn't seem surprised at all about them." Maria searched Liz's face for answers, "Since when has Guerin been into guys? If he is just playing with Alex I swear-"

"Easy." Liz smiled, "Michael is the museum guy."

"What?"

"You remember the guy that Alex almost thought of sticking around for?"

"Of course, I remember museum guy, but Guerin?" she turned back to watch the car leave, "I never thought he would be-" she shook her head, "He never crossed my mind once that it could be him."

"Alex loves him." Liz told her, "We knew the moment he told us about that kiss."

"But Guerin?" Maria asked again, "I mean it's him. The womanizer who has never had a serious relationship in his life."

"Yeah." Liz sighed, "He's had a rough go at life." She thought of the ways she had noticed Michael looking at Alex. She thought of the time in high school that she knew Alex was seeing someone. Michael had been happier than too when she really thought about it. "I think it's hard for him to let people in because of his upbringing and when he finally did that person walk away and he thought why try again?"

"You've seen him in love?" Maria asked, "When?"

"I think he loved Alex in high school just as much as Alex loved him."

Maria frowned, "And what now they just decided to try again?"

"I think some of the things that pulled them apart aren't as important as they once seemed."

"You mean Alex's father?" Maria asked

Liz shrugged, "Among other things yes."

"So, they really are together?" Maria brought her coffee to her lips. "I have to say I never saw that coming."

"Honestly if you really think about it, how could we not see it." Liz topped off the coffee cup when Maria put it back down.

"What do you mean?"

"Next time you see them together just watch them. Always glancing to see if they are close to the other. Or staring when they don't think the other is looking. Just the smiles they give each other. It's so obvious once you know."

"How long have you known?"

"I guessed the night of the festival while you were singing." Liz thought back to that night, "Max and I were dancing and the two of them were sitting there." She shrugged, "And something Max said made me guess that they used to be something."

"So, Max knew?"

"Kind of." Liz told her.

"He knew that Michael cared about Alex, but said Michael never told him anything that Michael didn't ever talk about that kind of stuff."

"So, when did they become a thing?"

"Last night." Liz leaned on the counter, "But I think something happened at the party. I mean you were sleeping on the couch; I was sleeping in Max's room. You didn't see Alex in the livening room, did you?"

Realization washed over Maria, "I was so hungover I didn't even think about where he slept."

Liz grinning, "Uh hu." Before walked away to a new customer who had just sat down.

Maria watched as Liz served the newcomer, she had never seen him before. She wasn't even sure why she was studying him, but she felt like she had seen him before. Only in passing, but his face was one she could have sworn she saw before. She didn't even notice Liz walk back up to her.

"What's wrong?" Liz asked.

"Nothing." Maria snapped her head back to her,

"You have that look." Liz smirked

"Who is that?" Maria asked

"Someone from out of town, he has a New York accent." She told Maria, "And he's very put together."

Maria frowned and looked at Liz, "Put together?"

"Everything he's wearing probably cost more than I make in a week."

"What's he doing here?" Maria kept glancing back over to the man.

"Passing through?" Liz shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe he's into hunting aliens."

"Hmm." Maria agreed but still kept trying to recall where she had seen his face. "He looks like military."

"Well there is a base right around the corner." Liz told her, "Why so interested in him?"

"Just a feeling." Maria told her.

"Well I should bring him this coffee." Liz smiled shaking her head. She walked over to the man and poured him a cup. "So, what brings you to our little town?" Liz asked figuring it was better to get Maria the information she wanted to know.

"Transfer." The man told her, "Military."

"Welcome." Liz told him smiling, even though she wanted to groan. The last thing they needed around here was more military personal. "I'm Liz my father owns this café and if you ask me it's the only place to get some good food."

The man smiled, "Aaden." He told her, "It's nice to meet you Liz."

* * *

**AN- Full disclosure I know hardly anything about the military so I apologize if what happened in this chapter wouldn't really happen in real life. **


End file.
